My View of Things

Blog you should be reading

2009-01-17T15:49:00.004-05:00

Gillian and I started boot camp together in October. This is her blog. Really, you should read it. operationfit.blogspot.com/

Still Alive

2008-10-16T08:23:00.002-05:00

Sorry to leave you hanging.

Boot camp is still kicking my butt, but at least this week I can walk up and down stairs without too much effort. I am still trying to be asleep by 9 which in it's own way makes me an old person.

I have never in my life had this much accountability for my nutrition and fitness. Yesterday, at the senior breakfast, I had a Chick-fil-a chicken biscuit. After exerting major self control on Monday to turn down 5 different offers of chocolate cupcakes, I had no will power left. It smelled too good. And it was so good....

Until this morning that is. I decided not to lie on my food log and I won't make that mistake again. After an hour long, really tough workout that focusing on cardio, core strengthing, and arms, I got my first (and hopefully only, if my conscience will allow a little fib here and there) taste of the encouragement after party. It was terrible.

I may be back to crying up and down stairs tomorrow.

Oh, and as a side note, I didn't mention in my last post that another reason I am doing this is because Scott and I have a bet about who can lose the most before April. It's kind of unfair since he is a boy and all. I mean, all they have to do is eat healthy for 2 weeks, run twice, and they've lost 20 pounds. But I am am stubborn and I am determined to win. If I lose then I have to do some karaoke thing at a Braves' game. But if I win, then Scott has to get rid of all of his flowered Hawaiian shirts. I am so winning.

Seriously, What was I thinking?

2008-10-07T06:50:00.003-05:00

Actually, I know exactly what I was thinking- April 5th, want to look amazing, want the dress to have to be altered down and not up, want to love looking at the pictures. If this isn't enough motivation, then I don't know what would be.

Let me tell you now that I was crazy.

Today was day 2 of Operation Boot Camp. I am getting up at 4:30 to drive to Powder Springs to be tortured by a pair of VERY in-shape guys for an hour every morning.

At 5:15, they start by looking over the log book of what we ate yesterday and chiding us for the bad things we ate. Apparently, starting next week, if we eat something we shouldn't then we have to endure "encouragement" after the normal hour workout. I want no part of any "encouragement."

Following, there is a workout designed to make us wish for death. several times.

People, I have NEVER in my life been this sore. I am walking like a 95 year old with a double hip replacement. I have entertained the idea of asking for an elevator key because the steps to my classroom are suddenly the thing I dread most about school. If my arms didn't hurt so much then I would think that a walker must be nice. I am scared to stay in one position for too long for fear that I won't be able to move when I need too.

I have been down this road before and I do know the soreness brought on by a new exercise program. But, I'm telling you that nothing compares to this.

So, do me a favor. If you see me, tell me that I look amazing. That you can already see a difference. Lie to me. Lie through your teeth. And remind me how amazing I will look on April 5th. If I am going to get through this, I am going to need all the real encouragement that I can get.

Absence

2008-10-02T17:30:00.001-05:00

Yes, I know that it has been a while since I have written. But I am burnt out. Completely.

One the wedding front, things are falling into place. I now have a dress. Bridesmaid's dresses are ready to be ordered. The colors have been decided. We have booked a caterer. (We may have even won a rehearsal dinner!) And today I think that we got the photographer.

I wish that work was as easy as wedding planning.

One Million Can

2008-09-23T08:15:00.002-05:00

You know that for several years, I have been involved with the Passion movement and this summer, I joined Passion on the World Tour to Uganda. Well, there is something new and cool that Passion has launched. It is called OneMillionCan. The idea is that we can change the world each by giving small amounts.

At Passion 07, the 20,000 college students in attendance were challenged to fully fund 8 global projects. In the course of 12 months, they gave over 1 million dollars and that 1 million dollars was used to change lives around the world.

Now the goal is to keep going. There are 7 new causes to support. (Two are with ministries in Uganda!)

So go to onemillioncan.com and watch the video. See if God pulls you to help one of the causes and give.

Wedding on a Budget

2008-09-15T14:36:00.001-05:00

Should I choose, I think that this wedding could be pulled off without some of the major expenses.

Today, I had students offer to sing at the wedding (today's was actually the 3rd student that offered this), be our photographer, and make me a custom wedding dress.

My people

2008-09-12T15:45:00.002-05:00

My favorite class to teach (at least right now) is the Honors Analysis class. I don't know why the name got switched from Pre-Calc to Analysis, but that's what it is. It is a hard course and covers a lot of material. Students usually struggle and then whine when they are not making an A. But the thing that I love about teaching it is that many of these kids are actually having to think in math for the first time ever.

Today, we started discussing the 6 trigonometric functions. You know, sine, cosine, tangent, secant, cosecant, and cotangent. One of my students piped up that secant is her favorite becasue the abbreviation for it is sec and that makes her think of sports and why she needs to do well in math so that she can keep playing. I made the confession that my favorite is cosine because something about the sine function seems like it is the overachiever. And I like to root for the underdog. And I got made fun of, which is completely what I expected.

And then, L. said, "When I was little, I didn't have imaginary friends. I had imaginary numbers." I asked her to eleborate on this. (That sounds fancy. Really I said "What?!?")

And she said that it was true, each number had it's own personality. The number 2- a tomboy. And 6- the goody-goody teacher's pet.

How funny is that? These kids are my kind of people.

The Ring

2008-09-11T07:45:00.003-05:00

Finally, here are some pictures of the ring!

I absolutely love it!

One easy decision

2008-09-11T06:18:00.001-05:00

I can guarentee that this cake will be no where near our wedding:

http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2008/09/cake-head-diet-aid-killing-appetites.html

Manic Depressive

2008-09-09T17:47:00.003-05:00

Today, I came face to face with what happens when the following things collide:

- extreme lack of sleep

- thoughts of another late school night because of Open House

- 2 classes of underpreforming, ungrateful, poorly behaved ninth graders

- an upper level Honors class that won't give you a break for getting a problem wrong

- a search for a wedding location

I had a meltdown.

Who knew that an engagement would make me manic depressive.

Most Useless Day

2008-09-08T17:20:00.002-05:00

This might be my least productive school day in my teaching career. When I should be thinking about how to best teach finding a logistic regression model, I am thinking about locations.

So here is the question for today: If you were going to get married in April in the Atlanta/LaGrange/Newnan area, where would you have the ceremony? The reception?

The details

2008-09-07T20:02:00.002-05:00

So I was talking to Wendy at dinner tonight and wondering about the best way to share details. I have already talked on the phone way more than normal and I am having a hard time censoring for time's sake. Therefore, I am going to type it here. And if you are getting bored with the story then you can skim it.

The first thing that you should know is that Scott and I have been talking about marriage a whole lot. I knew that he would ask and he was pretty confident that I would say yes. We have even talked about the fact that every time we did something out of the ordinary, I thought that it must be when he was going to propose. And then when it didn't play out the way I had worked it out in my head, I would be a little sad.

You should also know that I am a little bit of a thunder thief. I think that I can read people (and especially Scott) so well that it is impossible for me to be surprised. Scott will want to do something sweet for me, like send flowers to work, and before he can executed his plan, I will say "Hey, it would be so sweet if you sent flowers today." Rightfully, it completely annoys him, but makes me laugh.

So yesterday, I was heading up to Gainesville to help Scott pack for his upcoming move to Atlanta. On Thursday, he told me that he wanted to go to this place on the square for dinner. He said that it was nice and I would need to bring a dress, which was really kind of a bummer because last week was so long and exhausting and all I wanted to do was wear sweats all day. But he was excited about going.

So excited in fact, that I thought "He is totally going to propose tonight." I was so cocky that I wrote it down. Give me some credit for not just telling him up front.

But, the day didn't go as I thought that it would. Scott was (and is) sick and so we spent a few hours at urgent care and then at the pharmacy getting medicine for bronchitis. He also initiated a conversation about how he was nervous about talking to daddy. And he asked a lot of questions about when I would want to get married and how long I would want to be engaged. He completely threw me off the scent and by the time we went to dinner, I was resigned to the fact that it was just another dinner. A nice one, but nothing special.

Dinner was great (www.scottsonthesquare.com) and towards the end of dinner I suggested that we take a walk around the square. It was just so nice outside. And so we walked for about 30 minutes around downtown. Along the way he asked if I thought he was going to propose that night and I fessed up. He asked if I was disappointed that he hadn't and I said that disappointed wasn't the right word because I knew that he would do it at the right time but that this was how it was going to be EVERY time we did something together. I was always going to expect it.

So we made our way back to the middle of the square and we were standing there just enjoying being together. He asked if I was sure that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I jokingly responded with "Are you offering?"

It was then that I felt his heart rate shoot through the roof. He got down on one knee and said some really sweet things, none of which either of us can remember now. I cried. And said yes. The ring that Scott gave me was my grandmother's ring and she passed away at the beginning of the year. It is beautiful and filled with such sweet sentiment. When I realized that he had decided to use this ring, I started crying all over again. Bobbie would be so happy. (I was even wearing yellow, her favorite color on me.)

And so we stayed in the square a while longer just enjoying the moment. The proposal was everything I every wanted: it was so sweet, it was simple, it was private, and it was a surprise. Scott is continuing to amaze me with his ability to make me so happy.

Scott completely floored me. He had been down to talk to daddy over 2 weeks ago. And he had dinner with both of my parents on Wednesday to get the ring. And I had no clue.

We went back to the restaurant to celebrate with a glass of wine and when the owner/chef (who had visited all of the tables during dinner) heard the story, he helped us celebrate by picking up the drink tab.

Today, we went to the Falcon's game with my parents, Rebecca and Josh. It was so nice to be able to see my family and celebrate with them. All day I have been completely giddy and working hard at getting over the weirdness of being engaged. I, who normally never wears rings, am completely in love with wearing this one. Everything right now seems like so much fun just because there is some new sparkle. In fact, I have had to stop a couple of times while typing this to think about how typing is so much more interesting with something shinny on my hand.

While the thought of making all the decisions necessary to planning a wedding makes me want to freak out a little, I am so looking forward to becoming Mrs. Scott Smith.

Stay tuned for episodes. I am sure that there will be many funny stories along the way.

I may have a problem

2008-08-15T18:06:00.002-05:00

I think that I may be a workaholic. Really. My case is as follows:

Monday- 13 hours
Tuesday- 13 hours
Wednesday- 10.5 hours (but would have been longer had Sara not called and asked if I wanted to grab dinner before small group)
Thursday- 11.5 hours
Today- 12.5 and counting (of course, I am using these few moments to blog and so does that really count?)

Other supportive evidence-
I am getting up before 5AM to get to school between 6 and 6:30. I don't mind getting up early, but pre-5AM is not early. It's loony.

It's Friday. Of the first week. You could smell the rubber burning as everyone else peeled out of her at 4. And I am still here.

Swimming hasn't even started!

And here's the thing, I don't know why I have worked so much. Nevertheless, here are my attempts to rationalize:
- I do my absolute best not to take school home with me. I need time away to be a rest.
- Scott has his son this week and so evening dates are out.
- Wendy is out of town and Angela, my friend & other roommate, is also a high school teacher just going back to school.
- It's the first week. It's going to be busy.

I just feel like there is always so much more that needs to be done. As humbly as I can say this, I am a great teacher. You may ask how I know and I just know. But it isn't really me. Honestly, it is evidence of Christ's work through me. Otherwise, there is no way that I would be as patient or as creative. And I certainly wouldn't care as much as I do. And to rest when I know that it could be better kills me.

But I am EXHAUSTED. And it has only been one week. So I am going to work on margin. Putting a time limit on myself. Monday, Sara and I are going to start walking the track at 4:30. We will walk for 30 minutes and if I feel that I absolutely must come back to my room and work, then I will. But I will try my best to just leave it all behind for the day. I am going to start saying no to things. Today, I did manage to delete the email asking for Saturday School Workers and the one asking for a sponsor for the Interact Club. But, I did tell a fellow teacher that I would co-sponsor the Gaming Guild. (It's a sickness people.) I am going to become more protective of my time away from school. No more cramming that full either. Mark my words.

The first step to recovery starts with acknowledging there is a problem, right? Let's hope so.

Day 1 Down

2008-08-11T14:54:00.002-05:00

Day One is over. I am sitting and checking email for the first time all day. I have a love hate relationship with the first day back. Let's start with the bad.

I have some NASTY blisters from wearing real shoes instead of flip flops. My feet and throat hurt. I had all of 10 minutes for lunch and one quick bathroom. The copier acted up 5 times while I was copying my syllabuses. I broke the pull cord on my screen when I tried to pull it down for my first class. I have 65 new students to learn the names of and tomorrow I will have an additional 30. I am just exhausted for being on all day and now I have to spend several hours planning for tomorrow. I worked bell to bell, even during third period which lasted an extra 30 minutes because the lunchrooms were over crowded.

On the good side. I love what I do. High school kids are so unique. Is there ever another time in our life when we are convinced that we know it all but are terrified that someone else will find out that we don't? I love being excited about math and about seeing them get it- even on the first day. This one kid, a freshman nonetheless, told me that my class was the best all day because we did work. Whoa! I love the way that my room is set up. (Thanks, Scott!) I feel like I accomplished something.

When it gets to be October and I have started complaining about needing a break, remind me that I do love this job.

By the way, I think that I did a good job of scaring my pre-calc kids. I sent them off with a smile and homework that is going to be hard!

First Day Jitters

2008-08-10T22:00:00.002-05:00

They never go away. Each year without fail, the night before school starts is a sleepless one for me. I lay in bed and wonder what my students will be like. I wonder if I will have sweet kids or rotten ones. I run through lessons in my head and ponder whether I am teaching it in the order that I should be so that the greatest number of kids can learn the greatest amount of material. Will I have supportive parents or just nosy busy-bodies?

I wonder if by beefing up my pre-calc class if I have made it too hard. Will I lose them on day one and fight all semester to convince them that they can do hard math?

This year, I am teaching a new course- Math 1. Not just new to me, but new to the whole public high school curriculum in the state of Georgia. It is chop full of discovery activities and performance tasks. Designed to make the students better mathematical reasoners. Not as many standards as the old curriculum, but much deeper. Now I wonder if I will be able to find the balance between tasks and lectures.

I am just about finished with my lesson for tomorrow. (I teach, a lot, on the first day. And I give homework.) My lunch is packed. I have my first day outfit picked out. And now I am going to go lie in bed for too few hours staring at the ceiling and being nervous.

A New Blog

2008-08-01T21:20:00.003-05:00

As if I needed a new blog to follow.

But if you know my biggest pet peeve, then you understand why I added this to my google reader feed.

And, have I mentioned how much I love google reader? If you are not using it, then you should be.
I actually think that someone sent me a news article about this blog a while back, but I obviously wasn't using google reader then and so I didn't remember to go check it.

Auld Lang Syne

2008-07-31T19:01:00.000-05:00

I don’t make New Year’s resolutions.

At least, not on January 1^st.

I make my resolutions now. Maybe it’s that I get excited about new school supplies. Maybe it’s that I have been mostly lazy for two months and so I need a change. Maybe it’s that I feel like I get a new start with a fresh slate of kids. Maybe it’s that I am just meant to live on an academic calendar.

Whatever the reason, when August comes, I feel the need to make life changes. And so, here I give you my New (school) Year’s resolutions:

I will be TOTY.
I will be better at parent contact. Wait. If there is anything that I have learned from the numerous educational classes and seminars I have sat through, it is that a goal needs to be measurable. Let’s try again. At least once a month, I will attempt to have contact (phone, in person, or most likely, email) with a parental unit for each student I teach. (Note that if I am successful at this, I am making great strides at achieving goal #1.)
I will run a half-marathon (or the equivalent of one) by August 1, 2009.
I will lose weight. (Yeah, I know that this one as it is currently stated isn’t exactly measurable, but I am NOT posting my weight on a blog.)

I think that there are others, but it is probably be best to keep the list short and manageable. Wish me luck.

Now if only the first day of school came with a balloon drop and champaign toast…

Scott's Birthday

2008-07-23T23:59:00.004-05:00

Yesterday was Scott's birthday. It also happened to be his weekly pool league night. Scott mentioned that he would love it if I would bring cupcakes to pool league. I don't think that he was expecting this:

I used decorating sugar to do the colors and stripes.

The center circle is a Necco wafer with the number done in black frosting.
And the chalk was made from two blue starbursts.

The look on his face was incredible and made the effort worth it. I am already worried that I won't be able to top it next year.

The Road to TOTY 2009

2008-04-28T15:46:00.002-05:00

You know how the presidential campaigning starts way before you would ever expect?

I am going to take a lesson from the candidates and start now. My first step towards TOTY 2009 elections is to volunteer to stay at 8th grade parent night tonight. Doesn't that sound exciting? I get to stand behind a table and answer questions about high school math classes for next year's rising class and their parents.

The campaign begins.

Maybe Next year

2008-04-25T14:05:00.002-05:00

The campaign to be TOTY didn't pay off. I was nominated, but didn't get the votes. Maybe next year.

New Blog

2008-04-14T15:24:00.002-05:00

There are so many things going on right now. I created a new blog to address perhaps the biggest thing. Check it out.

My Family

2007-12-27T18:33:00.000-05:00

We Do like to burn things.

The pile before we started:

The beginning:

Yep, it's right there. See it? Right there.

Pull Melissa, pull. But don't give yourself a black eye.

Three hours later and still going strong:

Beth's Boo Boo

2007-07-12T11:49:00.000-05:00

It's not everyday that I have the desire to post pictures of my thigh on the internet. In fact, that never really happens. But since Rebecca asked, here it is. (I have a suspicion that she only wants to make fun of my klutziness, but oh well.)

Here's the story:
My parents are adding on to their house. Monday evening Daddy and I walked out there to see what the workers accomplished for the day. There is a board (4x10?) that you use to get into the new section since it is like 4 feet off the ground. I had just slipped on a pair of momma's shoes to go out there and going up I was fine.
One the way out Davy was at the bottom of the board waiting for us and as I stepped out on the board, daddy said, "Wait a second Davy, Beth will be down to play with you in just a minute." He didn't realize how quickly I would be down on the ground. The board was damp from earlier rain. My right foot slipped and I twisted off to the right. Most of my body landed in (and demolished) a butterfly bush and my left leg came down on the board.
Blood and tears followed quickly. Daddy insisted that we make a trip to the ER in case I needed a couple of stitches and so that they could clean it out well. No stitches were needed, but they did give me pain medication (which made me throw up all day Tuesday).
Here are the pictures that momma took on Tuesday to send to Rebecca and Melissa:
This this the main group of scratches. The dark part at the top is the section that came close to being deep enough for a few stitches.
This one shows that I managed to get my etire leg. You can sort of see the swelling.

And now for your viewing pleasure, this is what it looks like today:

Gross, huh?

103 Things about me

2007-05-30T15:57:00.000-05:00

For the past two summers I was pretty good about blogging while I was out of the country. I thought that I might give it another try even though I will be here most of the summer.

To get it started, here are 103 things about me that you may or may not have known:

1. I hiccup.
2. A lot.
3. I hate bananas.
4. I love anything chocolate
5. Except chocolate covered bananas
6. I consider myself to be a smart person.
7. And a funny person.
8. And generally a pretty cool person to be around.
9. I’m also surprisingly insecure.
10. Social situations make me nervous.
11. I have a thing for numbers.
12. I love prime numbers.
13. I once made a roommate change our number because it had too many even numbers.
14. My childhood ambition was to be a pediatrician.
15. I failed biology my sophomore year in college.
16. I use to swear that I would never teach. No matter what I did, it wouldn’t be teaching.
17. I just finished my 4th year teaching.
18. I love coffee.
19. I also love skim milk.
20. I usually read 4 books at once.
21. During the summer, I can average a book every 4 days.
22. My family goes to the beach every year.
23. I love vacations with my family.
24. My favorite vacation was the time we went to Louisiana and just drove around. We went on a tour of a rice cake factory.
25. Also, at Thanksgiving and Christmas, we usually go out to the woods and shoot guns at various inanimate objects.
26. I am the oldest of three girls.
27. Most of the time, I like being the oldest.
28. I adore my sisters. And my parents.
29. I can make fun of them, but I will get ticked if you do.
30. My youngest sister moved to Minnesota this year. I miss her.
31. My middle sister is getting married. I miss her too.
32. I am vain about my eyelashes. They are perfect.
33. I sing loudly.
34. I love to bake.
35. I would love to open my own bakery and make cookies all day.
36. My favorite cookies are ginger snaps.
37. 37 is my favorite number.
38. I love to take baths.
39. I love someone playing with my hair.
40. I would pay someone to wash and brush my hair everyday.
41. seriously
42. I love traveling.
43. I have to take anxiety medication to fly.
44. I have been to 6 foreign countries.
45. I am going to go to 2 more this summer.
46. I wouldn’t mind living overseas at some point in my life.
47. I speak a little Chinese.
48. I have a fantastic group of friends.
49. The last time I got angry at someone it was because he called my friends judgmental.
50. I yelled at him.
51. I never yell.
52. I can count on one hand the number of time I have yelled at someone.
53. I avoid conflict if at all possible.
54. I have a hard time saying no if someone asks me to do something. Even if it is inconvenient for me.
55. I am really easy to get along with.
56. Probably because I am a pansy and avoid conflict.
57. I really want people to like me.
58. I want to be described as nice.
59. I am not nice.
60. I screen phone calls.
61. I’m not good at returning phone calls.
62. I don’t like to do things that I am not good at.
63. I am learning to play pool.
64. I am not good at it.
65. I can’t spell.
66. Or type.
67. I wish that I were a good writer.
68. I can’t stand it when people use quotation marks inappropriately.
69. Air quotes are even worse.
70. I love Sunday afternoon naps.
71. especially in the summer when it’s hot outside and the sheets are cool
72. I am pretty independent.
73. My greatest fear is being alone the rest of my life.
74. I am dating an amazing man.
75. I have flat feet.
76. I had to wear corrective shoes as a child.
77. If I stand for too long, it makes my knees hurt.
78. I wear a digital watch.
79. It drives my mom crazy.
80. But not as much as the rubber band I wear on my other wrist.
81. I am a bit of a dork.
82. I like to think that you wouldn’t realize it by looking at me.
83. I suspect that I am wrong.
84. On a daily basis, I read the blogs of several people I don’t know.
85. I recently found out that my boyfriend knows one of the girls I blog stalk.
86. I am a little jealous that he knows her and I don’t.
87. And a little worried that if he starts reading her blog, he will like her more than me.
88. Did I mention that I am surprisingly insecure?
89. My favorite flowers are daffodils but they make my sinuses go crazy.
90. I hate running but I try to like it.
91. I took about 12 years of piano lessons but I know I can’t play a piece all the way through.
92. I also played the trumpet but wish I played the cello.
93. I like to have conversations when I am tired because my barriers are down and I will really say what is on my mind.
94. I am more of a morning person. I get much more done in the morning.
95. There are days in the summer when I don’t get out of my pajamas.
96. Or if I am at home home, out of my bathing suit.
97. I hate to do laundry.
98. I will wear clothes dirty.
99. The jeans I am wearing now are dirty.
100. I am going to start to blog more.
101. Like the summers when I was in Asia.
102. I probably will forget to blog by next week.
103. I am glad not to be in Asia this summer.

Differences

2006-11-04T23:01:00.000-05:00

I think that we all want to make a difference. And sometimes we do make a difference and don't even know it.

Today, I watched one of the members of my 7th grade small group get baptized. And after thanking her parents, she said that she would like to thank her small group leader, Beth.

Wow.

A difference.

But really I should be the one thanking her. For being an incredible 12 year old. For reminding me what simple faith is. For encouraging me to walk with Christ in a more authentic way so that I can be an example.

A guess that making a difference always effects both parties.

2006-11-03T15:42:00.000-05:00

I like teaching. Really I do.

And I like high school. I remember the fun stuff that wasn't learning and so I recognize how important that kind of thing is. That is why today I dumped my geometry plans to review sine, cosine and tangents in favor of taking my classes to the auditorium to watch the One Act Play. (Plus, who really wants to try to fight the Homecoming Friday Hype in order to review trig functions?)

But just now one of my trig students came in to critique my teaching. He means well, but I don't think he has a clue as to how badly he hurt my feelings. And it isn't that he was wrong in what he said. On the contrary, he was far too spot on. He accused me of not being personal enough and pushing them too hard. (In turn, I accused him and the class at whole of always misbehaving and not putting forth a valid effort.) And he is right.

I like teaching, but there are some days I hate me the teacher.

I hate being stern. I hate threatening to call home. I hate pleading with students to try. I hate being forced to cut out the fun things of high school because they can't behave during the non-fun parts.

Thank goodness it is Friday afternoon and I don't have to be me the teacher until Monday.

Day 2

2006-11-02T09:36:00.000-05:00

Again, high intentions of writing something worth reading. I even started some drafts yesterday that I thought would be pretty good entries.

But one of the boys has a bottle of Nautica Echo cologne in his bag and it broke. My head is pounding. I can barely think past the smell.

Sorry. It will have to wait until tomorrow.

Since it turns out that only my sisters and momma are reading this, you might find it interesting to know that I got flowers sent to work yesterday.

Day 1

2006-11-01T08:17:00.000-05:00

I have been thinking that I needed to write more, but honestly I don't know where to find the time. And I feel pressured to write something of value. I am fully aware that you don't want to know what I had for breakfast. And while me slicing off my finger trying to pit an avacado is mildly funny, it does not a good post make.

Still, I read about a challenge to post at least once a day, everyday in November. And I am always up for a good challenge.

As lame as it is, this counts for today. Stay tuned for updates.

I would ask this- drop me a comment so that I know who is reading. Since I haven't written in a really long time, I don't know who is randomly checking. It would be nice to know.

Class

2006-07-22T13:30:00.000-05:00

Lest I actually have a month of vacation solely devoted to nothing but laying by the pool, strongly encouraged by my departement chair and my new principal, I enrolled in the gifted endorsement course offered by Cobb County.

What was I thinking??????

I like the material (after all, I spent all of my school years in gifted classes) and I think there are a lot of ideas being presented that will make me a better teacher all around. Not to mention the promise of actually getting to teach the advanced courses. (I recently found out that this year I am going to get to teach Analysis- the gifted Pre-Cal course. I am excited and terrified all at the same time.)

But the work required for this class has been overwhelming. It only lasts for 8 days- all of last week and Mon, Tues., Wed. of this next week. Class is from 8:30-3:15 everyday with a 30 minute break for lunch. But then I come home (a new home for me, by the way, but that will have to wait for a different blog when I am not feeling so overwhelemed), and I have to read between 30 and 50 pages of scholary journals. I love to read, but scholarly journals make me want to cut my own eyes out with a grapfruit spoon so that I will have a reason to never have to read them again. And on top of that we have to write 6 annotated bibilographies. I am on the 4th and so far have written 10 pages worte of work. I swore after grad school that I would never to another annotated bibilography. I can't believe that I let these sneak up on me.

After this class ends, I have to take another one that meets twice a month during the school year and follow that with another week and a half course next summer. Finally I will be gifeted endorsed.

But the question I am thinking about now, as I procrastinate these papers, is does this mean that I intend to stay in education longer then the 4 years I said I was in it for?

Jet Lag

2006-07-04T05:44:00.000-05:00

I once heard it said concerning jet lag that it takes 1 day to recover for each hour of the time difference. 1 day down out of 12.

Sunday, after getting home around midnight, I was wide awake until 3AM and then woke up at 8. I think that my body assumed that I was just laying down for a long afternoon nap.

Last night, my goal was to stay awake until 10 PM. I managed to stay out of bed that long by watching the first episode of LOST (I picked up both seasons in my DVD run so that I could catch up on the hype). After that I went to bed and thought that I would try to read for a while. After I literally dopped my book twice, I decided that I just couldn't do it.

As I drifted off, I thought to myslef that I would surly sleep through the night becasue I was so incredibily tired. But no. 2 AM wide awake.

I managed to go back to sleep about 3:30, but only to wake up every 45 minutes or so. I finally got up at 6.

I am pretty sure that you didn't want to know so much detail about my sleeping patterens, but it may do you good to understand why I am no fun at night. Give me a week.

Happy 4th.

More Numbers

2006-06-27T21:39:00.000-05:00

10:38 AM Wednesday: Time and day here
10:38 PM Tuesday: Time and day there

____Monday afternoon in numbers____

2: friends I met

4: approximate distance in miles into town where we needed to go

1.75: US dollar equivalent of amount it would have cost to take a taxi

12: approximate minutes to get to where we needed to go in a taxi

15: minutes if we had the slowest taxi in the country (and there aren''t many slow ones)

100: percent of the time that students here perfer taking a bus over taking a taxi

15: minutes we spend looking at the bus board determining how to get where we needed to go by bus

1: calls to the bus/transportation dispatch place to find out which busses we should take

38 & 79: the two bus numbers that got us close to where we needed to go

3/4: approximate distance in miles that we had to walk after getting off the bus to get to where we were going

75: minutes it took to get to where we were going

$0.75: dollare equivalent of whet it costs all three of us to ride the two buses

2: hours we spent in town

1: miles we walked to what we thought would be the correct bus stop to begin trip home

25: minutes we waited for the 79 bus to come

0.5: miles we walked to a different bus stop

50: number of bus that we would take in order to meet up with...

336: bus that would bring us back to campus

15: minutes we waited for 50 bus

7:00: time 60 bus stop running

7:20: time when we realized that we missed 50 bus

97, 001, 41: series of buses that we then decided to take

10,000: taxis that passed us during this time and could have taken us home quickly

3/4: miles we walked after getting off the 97 only to realize that it didn't match up with the 001 bus where they thought it would

15: minutes spent waiting on a 336 bus at the new stop

0.1: miles we traveled on the 336 bus before it died in a busy intersection.

5: minuutes the driver spend looking at the engine (you can access it from inside the bus) before asking everyone to get off and push. One of my friends said that he only meant for the boys to get off and push

2: number of boys on the bus

3: times the driver repeated his request before people got off and started to push the bus (I didn't but one of my friends did.) The driver was able to jump start the bus.

135: minutes to get back to campus by bus

$1.75: dollar equivalent of what we saved by taking the bus instead of a taxi

3: extra hours it took for us to travel by bus instead of taxi

87: times I almost told my friends that their idea about taking bus was stupid but I refrained becasue they have this whold saving face concept.

____Other numbers_____

3: square footage of the bottom of our shower

5'9'': approximate height of shower head

2: times I have shaved because it is impossible to do anything other than stand perfectly upright in the shower and besides I can claim to be culturally relavent

3: times I will end up having done laundry

6: hours it takes laundry to dry on an overcast day.

2: hours to dry if it is sunny and there is room on the outside line

5: days until we come home

Have a good rest of the week. I will see you soon.

Last week

2006-06-25T22:38:00.000-05:00

So on Thursday when we went to get a simple hair wash, the girls talked me into getting a hair cut as well. I should have listened to my inner voice that was yelling "NOOOOOOOO!"

And so now I have a hair cut that I hate. If for the rest of the summer I only wear it in a ponytail, you will understand why. Be nice. Even my friends that I made here will say, "It looks, well... okay."

And on top of the bad hair cut is the monster zit I got on my lip last week. My fireds would point and say "Oh, what is that?" They, of course have perfect procelin skin. We almost didn't go to eat Hot pot on Friday becasue they think that the spice is bad for your skin. I kept assuring them that it would be okay & that the disease on my face would go away whether I ate hot pot or not.

So we went to eat Hot Pot and it was really good. We went to a place where you picked your own meal on skewers and then out it in the bolining pepper soup to cook. After it was cooked you then put the food in a dish of oil to cool down both in heat and in spice. (I honestly think that if anything was bad for their skin, it is the cup of oil bit.) My friends ate weird stuff like Chicken feet and what not. I stuck to mostly vegetables because they were recognizable. I did try one stick of imitation crab b/c it was one of the girl's favorites. And it tasted just like nasty imitation crab. I ate lots of potatoes and what I thought were sweet potatoes but turned out to be pumpkin. My stomach only complained breifly and even it calmed down after I drank 3 yogurts.

On Saturday all of the Americans went to KTV. Chinese Kareokee (sp?). Really that is all I need to say. There were only a limited number of songs in English (including of course celine dion's "My Heart will go on.") and most were old. Sara, sadly they did not have any Christmas carols or even any dixie chicks.

We will be here until Thursday and then begin the trek home. This time next week I will be sleeping of some serious jet lag.

Hey momma- my knee is actually feeling much better. Do you think I should cancel the doctor's appointment or wait to see how it is doing after climbing on the Great Wall and sitting on a plane for 14 hours? I will call you this week.

Week 3

2006-06-22T01:45:00.000-05:00

I can't believe that it looks like I am only going to be able to write one blog a week. What an utter dissapointment. Last year I was so good about writing. Oh well.

Things have been much improved since the bus accident last week. it turns out that one of my American friends was close by and saw the child awake with only minor injuries.

Let's see if I can catch you up on my week.

Friday we went to what was being described as a farm. We made bets as to who would catch the bird flu or some other non-curable disease from being in thr rural area. It turned out to be a place maybe 5 minutes away and more of like a farm-reenactment (think colonial williamsburg, but smelly and farm like and in an Asain country). We had tea and learned to play Majohng. Then we got to help make our lunch. It was hot.

Saturday, I wento to the tailors to pick up some things and even though I swore that I was going to not have a lot made this year, I put in another order for a skirt, 3 pairs of dress pants, and a dress all from a JCrew catalog. They will be ready on Monday. and it will cost all of about $40. Nice.

Sunday was a lazy day.

Monday. Class. And then ping-pong. And more ping-pong. I don't think that I have played ping pong since Calico peed on our ping pong table and warpped it. Even then I wasn't very good. When it comes to me verses a chinese person, there is simply no hope for me. But I am getting better because I have played so much this month. I have also been suckered into playing basketball, but I am not improving there.

Tuesday. I was sick and I stayed in bed all morning. It is mostly a sinus thing and I think that I am about to kick it. And I think that it has something to do with the beautiful irises that my roommate received from some of the guys she is traveling with. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I think they were making me sick. Especially in light of the fact that she feels she has to take her bananna peels down the hall to throw them away. And she has been the source of much entertainment since she has started talking in her sleep in Chinese. It's great.

Wednesday. Same old thing. Class. More ping pong.

Today. This morning I had my exam. It was okay but not great. We all had to wait in a holding room where we were suppose to study a few more minutes. We had to draw numbers and one at a time go to take our exam. I got number 12 out of 12 and so I had to wait for about an hour and a half. The first thing I had to do was read some words from a card. They were written in pinyin (pheonetically) and it was just to check my pronounciation. And then they held up flashcards with characters and I was suppose to give the word. I think that I got 5 out of 6. And then the simple questions. "What are you studying?" "What is this?" (A magazine but I forgot the word for it). "Whose magazine is this?" (I don't know, maybe his?) And finally the role play were I had to pretend that I was going to the market to buy some fruit. I did really well on the role play bit. I think that tonight we are going to go back to the hair washing place and pay someone the equivalent of $2.50 to wash (and massage) and dry our hair.

It has been raining again all day long. It is either sunny and incredibly hot. Or cloudy and muggy and hot. Or raining and miserable. A lot of the walking surfaces are marble and so I have more than once almost fallen. (I did fall once yesterday but that was inside on the stairs and had nothing to do with slick surface, just my clumsiness.)

Abd on a final note, I can count 30 bug bites on my arms and legs. And I promise that is no exaggeration. I have never been eaten alive like I have the past 3 weeks.

We will be headed to Beijing next week and then home on the 2nd. My how a month flies.
I will try to write at least once more.

Bus

2006-06-14T08:33:00.000-05:00

This evening I was on a bus that hit a little boy who lookd to be about 4 years old.

The bus was really crowded like every bus in this country. I was standing in the aisle near the front because if I can see where we are going it makes me less nervous to be alone on a bus in a country where I understand very little of the language.

We weren't going very fast becasue we had pulled away from a stop. We were on a very crowded and narrow street where there are many vendors and students.

I didn't see the little boy until after we had completely stopped and people rushed out into the street to lift him out from under the front of the bus. There was just a lot of screaming and everyone fell forwards like dominoes when the driver slammed on the brakes. We all fell to the ground. I have minor bruises across my shins where I landed on the raised part of the bus that covers the engine. My fall was broken by the grandmother next to me and her bruises are worse.

But know of that is significant in light of the anguish of the mother, child and bus driver. The little boy was not moving as she carried him away in her arms to get help. But there was also no blood and I am hoping that is a good sign.

I didn't know what to do and so I just followed the lead of everyone else on the bus; I got off and walked the rest of the way to my stop where I was meeting a friend for dinner.

When I got on the bus to come home, we passes the scene of the accident and the bus was still there waiting (I assume) on an investigation. The driver was sitting in one of the seats and there was another driver with him. He looked like he had been crying.

It is truly one of the scariest and most sad things that I have experienced here.

Sorry for the lack of posts. Internet access is really hard this year.

Some Numbers for you

2006-06-08T02:47:00.000-05:00

1: The number of days that the sun has been out since we got here. Today is that day.

98: the percent humidity everyday

407: my room number

59: number of stairs to get to the 4th floor

2: the number of cokes I have had in the past 6 days. Coke light is still not popular over here and is still really hard to find.

1.12: the amount in US dollars that my lunch cost

1: the number of times that I have eaten a western meal. It was at McDonald's.

2: the amount in US dollars that my McDonalds meal cost.

37: the number of times I have thought that it would be nice to go to Chick-fil-A or Moes for dinner.

2: the number of times I almost threw up at dinner last night.

6: the number of times I had to chew in order to swallow the nasty duck egg that made me want to throw up at dinner last night.

2: The number of takes it took to get our voice recording correct today.

So, out of those numbers, probably just the last two need more explanation.

Last night the girls and I went to eat with some friends and they said that they were going to treat us to traditional food. (I am sure that the words that they used was actually "some very famours food." Here is what was on the menu:
baotzi- these steamed dumpling type things that aren't too bad. It is a big dough ball with something in the middle. A surprise if you will. meat or veggies or seseme filling. Supposdly, Marco Polo had them and when he went home from his travels he couldn't figure out how to reproduce them and he ended up with pizza. Strangely, they don't taste anything like pizza. At all. Not in the least bit. hmm. pizza would be good.
the rice balls wrapped in bamboo leaves- I don't remember the techinical name. I had these last year and liked them. They are also very famours. you unwrap the bamboo and inside there is a sticky sticky rice ball with again another surprise in the middle. Last year, I had meat ones and fruit ones. They were good. Last night it was some whit substance. I asked my friends and they shared that it was "meat fat." Yup. One big glob of melted fat. I know that my cousin Robbie would love this one.
gelitin soup- cold. sweet. weird in texture.
some sort of wonton soup- good but extremely spicy. I drank a yogurt after dinner to hopefully head off any indigestion.
And then the eggs-
There were two different eggs, both prepared differently and cut into about 8 slices. One was perserved in salt and I think that it may have been what they can the humdred year egg. I don't think that it was every cooked, I think that the salt just cooks it. You don't eat the white part, only the yoke and it tasted like sand.
The other egg....I am not sure that I can write this without gagging.
I always use to say that I could be on fear factor and do the eating challenges. And when Rebecca and I talk about the Amazing Race, I am always the one to do the eating things. I am not so sure after last night.
They said that it was just duck egg, and I am not sure how it was prepared. they also said that it is okay to leave this kind of egg out for 6 months.
The yoke was the same color but the white part was translucent yellowish orange and had a consistancy of harden jello. When you think that it is going to be an egg, there is just no preperation for what I put in my mouth. You should all have the same joy.

And then the recording. So, there is a high school English teacher in the city that needed some English voices recorded for her classes. From what I understand, it is for an exam that her students will have to take. She needed us to do the part that the students will listen to and then answer questions. A guy friend and I went with her to a recording room today and read the very cheesy script. There were 10 texts total. This was text 2:

Female: I would like for you to go shopping with me on Sunday.
Male: Why do you need me to go?
Female: It is very difficult to buy shoes for you without your feet being present.

We got paid 200 kuai each to do it (about $25 USD). But to me the best part is that all over this part of the country, there will be high school kids learning English with a Southern accent. I will be very very FAMOURS.

That's it for now.
Zai Jian

Crazy

2006-06-06T02:42:00.000-05:00

Well, classes are going well. It is harder to learn when things are going so fast, but I think that I will probably learn a lot. Everything is in characters which is completely different for me.

It is really weird for the other students to defer to me.

Yesterday we went to eat and I was trying to order dumplings for us to eat. I thought that I was ordering 20 for the table, but it turns out that I ordered 20 for each of us. And these things were spicy. I managed to eat about 12 of them, but 2 of my friends could only eat like 5. We left a ton on the table and I am sure that the owners/waitress were just munbling- stupid Americans.

It has been raining a lot here and I haven't actually seen the sun since we were on the plane before landing in Beijing.

What else?

Right now, I don't think that there are any other super funny stories- I am still fighting jet lag pretty bad (today I actually managed to stay asleep unil 6 AM) and I think that it is affecting my ability to be funny.

In a closing note, I read the first card that momma sent with me, and it made me cry. Wendy, I am sorry to say that I think she has you beat.

I am sure that something good will happen soon.

Here we go again

2006-06-04T03:25:00.000-05:00

I hope that you are ready for another fun summer of entertaining (and poorly spelled since I don't know what "spell check" looks like in Chinese) blogs.

We arrived after a good 24-26 (I lost count) hours of travel. My friends, Xanax is a glorious creation. I was able to sleep a lot on the long flight that went directly over the North Pole. The last flight I tried to do unmedicated and it was the bumpiest we had.

Our rooms are like really small hotel or dorm rooms with really hard beds. Of course, I think that we are paying about 4 bucks a day, so I can't really complain.

I don't have any good stories yet. I am still really tired.

But don't worry, tomorrow I start classes and I am sure that after I sit through just 1 intermediacte level class, I will have made a fool of myself and have some stories to share.

By the way, with the whole missing out thing, I am really just a baby. I am doing much better.

Off to the other side of the World

2006-06-01T23:57:00.000-05:00

While I was drying my hair yesterday morning, I suddenly realized that I only had two more nights to sleep in my bed. That is how I count down days until big events.

What I didn’t account for was that if I went to bed right this second, I would get less than 3 hours of sleep. And I am obviously not going to bed right this second.

If I am completely honest with you, my anonymous blog readers, I would have to admit that it has been a little hard to get myself geared up for this trip.

Not too long along, Rebecca observed that she believes I don’t like change. To a degree, she is probably right, but I think that my issue goes deeper than that. In fact, I think that it is one of my driving forces. The simple fact of the matter is that I do not like the idea of missing out on something.

And it is this little fact that explains so much about me.

It explains why, as a child, I was always the last one to order my ice cream at Baskin Robbins. With 31 flavors, I was sure to miss out if I decided on one.

It explains why I am a constant over-achiever and run myself ragged trying to do too much. If I can just be involved in everything, then I am not missing out on any of it.

It explains why I will usually wait until the last minute to make plans. Wendy and I use to accuse the Mike and Charlie of waiting for a better offer before settling on plans with us, but I am just as guilty.

It explains why I avoid conflict like the plague. Everyone has to be happy with me so that I am not missing out on the inside jokes or fun times.

And it explains why I am not as excited about this trip as I feel I should be. This year, my friends and family and their plans sound like they offer a better option than studying abroad for a month.

I guess that sometimes you just have to miss out.

The next time you hear from me, I will be 12 hours ahead.

A Joy I Will Never Know

2006-05-31T15:55:00.000-05:00

I just watched a 14 year old boy from South Bend Indiana spell "autochthonous" to win the 2004 national spelling bee.

I had to use the DVR on the TV to go back and find out how to spell Indiana.

Hiatus

2006-05-07T18:45:00.000-05:00

Here's the thing about writing blogs- people read them. And it isn't the random people that might stumble across my writings that gets me. No, it's the fact that People I Know read my blog.

Right now I am trying to work through some things that I don't find very entertaining and which I don't particular want everyone to know all about.

So, I am going to concentrate on my actual journal for a while. Pen and paper.

I don't know how long this will last, but I promise I will return to the world of blogging before heading back to East Asia. After all, we know that EA provides some good entertainment.

You smell

2006-04-28T18:34:00.000-05:00

I am sick again. It came on really pretty quickly. I have lot of congestion, but no sore throat. Really, this time, my illness has been characterized by extreme fatigue. It’s not the kind of fatigue that made my sleep a sound sleep at night. Rather, it is fatigue that makes the thought of having to get up and take a shower seem impossible. It is a fatigue that makes me think that the pure effort of moving my jaws enough to chew makes eating not worth it. I associate this kind of fatigue with one thing- mono.

When I went to the doctor today, I was convinced that she was going to do blood work and confirm the presence of mono.

Almost as soon as she walked into the room, the doctor said, “You have strep throat.”

I was floored. Really, I’ve not had a sore throat and my fever has been really low. And I was convinced that I had mono.

She went on to explain that strep has a smell to it and that she smelled it. It’s not something you really want to hear when you are sick. “On top of feeling like crap, and looking like crap, you actually have an odor about you that isn’t so pleasant.”

She took a strep culture and gave me an antibiotic with the following reasoning, “If the culture comes back positive for strep, then you will have been on antibiotics for a couple of days. If it isn’t strep then it is a virus and you will just have to wait it out anyways.” More of what you really don’t want to hear.

The good news is that I have started the antibiotic and have already started to feel better. I guess her nose was right.

Thank goodness. I hate mono.

Remember, it turns back to a pumpkin at midnight.

2006-04-25T22:24:00.000-05:00

If you go to the nail saloon on any Saturday morning this time of year, you will know that it is a special time of year. That’s right, it’s prom time.

I went to both my junior and senior prom. Michael wanted to go to his junior prom (I was a sophomore), but instead we went out of town with our youth group. I think that he was a little bitter. But we went the next year and did the whole after prom party thing at the bowling ally. I think that I had a curfew of midnight.

My senior year, I went with Brian. I liked Brian, but I am pretty confident that he wasn’t interested in me (or in anyone for that matter) and just agreed to go because he felt like he needed to go. I remember a not so fun dinner and then pretty much nothing of the prom itself. After that one, our group went to Patrick’s house and hung out for a while. He and his date weren’t really hitting it off. I think that night I had permission to stay out until 1, but Brian’s curfew was earlier.

Now that I am teaching in a high school, I have the opportunity to go to prom every year. For the past two years, I have come up with other things to do on prom night and I haven’t chaperoned. But this year, it looks like I am going. My math teacher friends are all going to go, and so I figure I should as well.

Obviously, some things are going to be different in this prom experience. I am not buying a new dress. I am not going out to eat a fancy dinner before hand. I probably won’t even go get a pedicure. And, sadly, it looks like I will be going alone. Unless of course you know someone who would like to go to prom on May 6th…

I remember you

2006-04-18T22:01:00.000-05:00

You are not the you I remember.

I remember the you that fed us melted cheese. Not just the grocery store brand, but the good kind of cheese in the foil wrapper. And it was always accompanied with a glass of orange juice. To this day, a cold glass of orange juice transports me to my 7 year old self with hair down my back, running around on the linoleum floor.

The you now can’t go to the kitchen on her own. She has to be helped to get up and helped to walk to the kitchen. She certainly isn’t going to the grocery store and buying the good cheese in the foil wrapper.

The you I remember loved to eat family meals. She always had something in the kitchen for everyone to sit down and eat.

Now you hardly eat two meals a day.

I remember the you that loved birthdays. You would always bring presents for all of the grandkids no matter whose birthday it was. You didn’t want any of us to feel left out and I also think that you wanted us to love birthdays as much as you.

This you forgot that my birthday was three weeks ago. This you thought I was born in May.

My memory of you still drives around in the Purple-People-Eater Cadillac. She still talks of taking vacations to the beach or the mountains in the RV.

The you of now can’t drive. And I am not sure that the you now will ever see the ocean again. Or the mountains.

I remember the you that had a memory for all things. That you could name every stop you made during a family vacation in the 60’s and what every member of the family ate at every stop.

The you I see now is losing the ability to remember. And memories are being replaced by stories that you have dreamed up, stories so bizarre that they must have slipped from your dreams and into your reality.

The you I remember was strong. She watched one amazing husband be eaten away by cancer, doing everything she could to stop or slow the progress. She was strong enough to love again only to watch another husband die slowly. The you I remember was full of life.

This you is so very frail. Your skin is covered in bruises and in some ways your spirit seems weaker.

The you I remember had an opinion on just about everything. Honestly, the you I remember could be a little much at times.

You now have trouble speaking, period. Whether speaking is just too hard, or it is too hard to express you opinions, this you is almost mute compared to the you I remember.

I remember the you that once told me that our priorities should be family, God, job, in that order. I remember how that you would get upset when people would talk about how great heaven will be. You wanted to have lost loved ones back here with you, never mind how wonderful the ever after might be.

But I remember when you changed your mind. When death ceased to be scary and your priorities reordered themselves.

And I wonder what this you I see now thinks. Is she scared? Does she understand?

And I miss the you I remember.

But, as much as I miss the you I remember, I am still thankful for this new you.

You have shown me a new side of my parents; you have shown me how patient and kind they are. This you has made me more grateful for each encounter I have with you and more grateful for my family as a whole.

I love you. Both yous.

34 and counting

2006-04-10T22:14:00.000-05:00

Spring is my favorite time of year. Without a doubt. And I have some very rational reasons behind that statement.

Some celebrate the New Year by making resolutions. Not I. January and February are the roughest months for me. I don’t need to add to the blues by piling on goals that I will drop in mid-February. Instead, the New Year is when I buckle in and concede to eating junk food because it makes me happy. Let’s face it, when I am going to and coming from work in the dark, anything that makes me happy (even if it comes coupled with guilt) is worth it.

So reason number one is that spring is the time when I start to believe that I can be a better person. Last spring, I started running for the first time in my life and eating better. It was in the spring (again, only last year) that I lost a good 35 pounds. And it is now spring that I am determined to lose the rest.

And spring is birthday season. The sister-who-asked-not-to-be-mentioned-in-a-post-tonight and I have birthdays three weeks apart to the day. When we were younger, we shared parties. One year it would be a My Little Pony theme, and the next Chuckie Cheese. It starts with her birthday and wraps up with mine. Since my family has not yet gotten together to celebrate mine this year, it is an extended birthday. I’m serious. Until my family sings and brings the cake, my birthday is still in effect (though it was really a week ago today).

Reason Three: In spring my favorite flower, the daffodil, covers front yards. They drive my sinuses crazy, but I still love them. I once did a photographic essay on daffodils and it won a prize.

Spring is a time of new love. I associate all of my past good relationships with spring beginnings. The guys I started dating in the fall were doomed even before the first date. More recently, spring seems to be the time for new crushes.

But if you took away all of those things, I would still love spring. Because the number one reason I love spring is that the countdown can begin. That’s right guys and girls, there are only 34 more school days until summer break. Or even better, only 6 more Mondays. Who wouldn’t love that?

Gorwing Up

2006-04-08T23:20:00.000-05:00

Maybe six weeks ago I found out that my sister is dating her old high school boyfriend. It was a little of a blow because they had been going out about a month and she hadn't told me. And it was a little bit of a shocker, but not necessarily in a bad way.

I like the guy. I have always liked him, except for those times that he made Rebecca cry. Then I wanted to cause a slow and painful death, but isn't that what every big sister would feel? In ways it is easier for me that she is going out with him. Of all her boyfriends, he has spent the most time hanging out with my family and so it makes it easier for me to joke around with him. It isn't as awkward as other boyfriends being here. If he does something to annoy me, I feel free to tell him so without the guilt of thinking that I have to be nice.

One of the cool things about living with your sibling is that you just kind of grow into it. Though we have both grown up, I don't notice the changes that have occurred. For instance, today Josh remarked that Rebecca is moodier now than she was in the old days; since I grew into the moodiness, I just assume that she has always been moody.

But I haven’t been around Josh in over 8 years. I notice the changes in him. Maybe it isn’t so much change, as it is things I just never knew. Most important is the fact that he is a cleaner. Apparently, he doesn’t like to be in messy environments. This is good news for me. When I got home yesterday and went upstairs, I was surprised to see that the carpet (including my room) had been vacuumed. And vacuumed so that the lines are in the carpet. I don’t have a clue as to how you get the lines to stay in the carpet.

There are times when I am a bit envious of my sister’s ability to meet guys and always be in a relationship. But this time, my envy is minimal. Let’s face it, she got a boyfriend and I got a maid. Not a bad deal.

M-I-Crooked Letter-Crooked Letter-I...

2006-04-08T22:51:00.000-05:00

I have been just too busy to write lately and for that I apologize. There have been funny things to write about and I simply haven’t had time to get them out onto paper.

I didn’t even write about the staff development we had a while back in which we were forced to suffer through a Dolly Pardon, Minnie Pearl (from Hee Haw), and Lucille Ball impersonation. I am not kidding in the slightest. It was two and a half hours of pure torture. I am sorry that I can’t give you the details anymore; thankfully, it is starting to feel like a bad nightmare that I am forgetting.

I just returned yesterday from leading my first short term mission trip. It was an amazing experience, but I have to admit that I was a little bit scared to be leading. When I agreed to lead the team, it was with the understanding that I would have a co-leader. And then she wasn’t able to go.

When she was teaching us to swim, momma pretty much just threw us into the pool; I felt that leading this trip was a very similar experience. But everything went well. No wrecks in the rented vans. No hospital visits. No drama queen tears shed. All in all, I think that it was a success. I think that we did a lot of good and that we all learned a lot. All 48 of us were changed in some way.

It was good to go back to Pass Christian. An amazing amount of work has been done since Christmas, but there is still an incredible amount to be done. On Monday, we cleaned out a house that had not been touched since the storm; the drawers in the bedroom still had water pooled in them. The house belongs to Roy and Bonnie Hogan. They are a really sweet and truly Southern couple who will celebrate their 56 anniversary in August. The house was their dream home. And in spite of the destruction of the home they loved so much, they were joyful, welcoming, and hopeful. They treated each other as newlyweds; isn’t that the kind of marriage that everyone hopes to have?

My team was amazing. From so many different walks of life, I was a little concerned that they wouldn’t all get along. I couldn’t have been more wrong (who am I to question the Sovereignty of God?). They cared for each other and shared with each other. And they are just great people. My circle of friends grew on this trip.

Lest this post become an overly serious one, I will leave you with one of the funnier moments on the trip. Those of you who know me are aware that I HATE HATE HATE bananas. I think that they are of the devil. Monday was my birthday. It was our first day in Pass Christian and at lunch I told some of my team members about my disdain for bananas. After our evening meeting the team sang “Happy Birthday” and they had a cake and ice cream. The cake that they bought (some sort of yummy chocolate cake) got lost in a cooler. But it just so happened that a group from Memphis had sent down some cakes for the volunteers and there was a layer cake in the mix. People were talking about how great it was that God provided a cake. And then I took a bite. Yep, banana. I almost lost my dinner. Happy Birthday to me.

Don't Understand

2006-02-26T00:23:00.000-05:00

Last night we ate at Cracker Barrel. And it was decided that if we had to choose one place to eat at for the rest of our lives, then we would all choose Cracker Barrell. It's the variety and the fact that you can get breakfast all day.

The talk turned to boys, as it so often does when it is only girls at the table. And this is what I don't understand: I have amazing friends. Great Women. Seriously Funny. Generous. Dependable. Really Smart. Beautiful. And all single. What's with that?

In a way, it is easy to understand my single life. It is always easy to be critical of yourself and there are always things that I think need to improve. But then I look around at the multitude of great single women I know and I think that there is something else going on.

It is true that each of us in a little picky in her own way, but at the same time none of us are turning down dates. I don't believe that I have ever said no to a first date. (Well, except for the times when one of my students wants to set me up with someone. That is just too weird.) One of my friends instituted a "Take One for the Team" policy. The idea is that you are not allowed to turn down any date. Even if you might not be interested, you have friends, many of them, and this guy might be perfect for one of them. Even with the policy in full effect, we all remain dateless.
____________________
Editorial Note: I started this post and wrote everything above on 10/24/05. And then I didn't have time to finish so I just saved it as a draft. Several time in the last 4 months this topic has come up. Again tonight. Except this time there was a boy at the table and we didn't talk about it in real depth, because who wants to come off looking that desperate? ____________________

I've tried the whole online thing and I am convinced that it is not for me. My experience has left me with the opinion that Neil Clark Warren is of the devil and his 29 dimensions of compatibility is a load of crap. Or maybe they aren't a load of crap, but rather a tool to get more of your money. It seems that you always get matched with people that are not in the least bit "compatible" (and the use of quotation marks is appropriate in this case) until your subscription is about to run out. Then they will actually match you with someone who seems decent and this will suck you in to paying for another 3 months just in case he is the one. Of course you eventually end up going out with the guy who claimed that he is 5'6" and turns out to be 5'4". No more online stuff for me.

Today at my weekly Chinese lessons, my teacher offered to set me up with some men. I don't want to be accused of being picky, but seriously, am I suppose to say yes to that offer?

I don't know what the answer is. I guess I will just continue to wait and trust. And have conversations with me friends about the reasons we are all single.

Why the Mental Block?

2006-02-18T12:29:00.000-05:00

I have to admit that I would consider myself a pretty intelligent person. Okay, honestly, I think that I am quite smart. And not just in book sense, but in common sense and in being able to reason things out.

However, there are two areas/subjects/things that I am afraid will always be a mental block for me.

The first is my ability to spell. I think that there has been a small improvement over the years, but in truth that may be attributed to the proliferation of computers and spell checker. Rare is the day that I can type and entire email and have it pass the spell check the first time through. More often, I misspell words to such a degree that the spell check doesn't even recognize it and offer up suggestions. I have to take a second guess.

The other area of my life where I just never seem to be able to learn is in medication. For the life of me, I NEVER know what I should take to make myself feel better. Decongestant? Antihistamine? Both? Something else entirely? And what is really frustrating is that self-medicating should be an innate ability. I come from a family of pharmacists. My grandfather is a pharmacist. Momma is. My aunt and uncle both are. One cousin is in pharmacy school. Her brother is a doctor. And my youngest sister is a lab technologist who has taken enough science classes that she could probably make medicine. And then I can't even go to the drugstore and match my symptoms to those listed on a box. Seriously. I might as well be reading the boxes in Chinese. I might even fare better. Just now, I spent 20 minutes walking up and down the medicine aisle of Kroger trying to remember what momma told me yesterday about what I should take to kill this rotten cold I have developed.

I think that she said the 12 hour Tavist D would be best for the day and Benedryl at night. But the Tavist was 20 bucks and the other thing about coming from a family of pharmacist is knowing that I could probably get it cheaper (or free) at home. Surely, I have something here that isn't that far past the expiration date. So I left without medicine. Only chicken and stars soup, apple juice, and two more boxes of Kleenex.

Oh I feel crappy.

Just a few white flakes

2006-02-06T11:27:00.000-05:00

Here’s the thing about teaching- you never mature past age 7 when it comes to snow. So, maybe there are those odd balls out there that think extremely rationally and say they don’t want a snow day because it means that there would be one added onto the end of the year. I am not one of those.

I wanted snow last night. I wanted it so much so that I stayed up far too late watching Grey’s Anatomy with the hope that I might be able to sleep in. And this morning when my alarm went off, I laid in bed and waited for the news to cycle back around. I needed to get up because I had already hit the snooze button twice and was running kind of late. But until the morning radio person confirmed no school closings, I was able to lay there and hope with my last bit of hope that outside my warm bed, there was a light blanket of snow or maybe even just icy road conditions. And then my hope was shattered with those 3 words: “No school closings.”

I think that when I begin to count down to summer break, people assume that I hate my job. Really that couldn’t be much further from the truth. I like my job. Some days I even love it. And I won’t be one of those people who complain about teaching being so much harder than the average job. I know better than that. All I ask is that you recognize that dealing with 30+ teenagers in 90-minute blocks throughout the day is no cake-walk. And so I will continue to gloat about the 2 month summer vacation.

And the next time, there is a possibility of snow, I will probably stay up too late and hope with all my might for my county to close school.

Sorry. I think that you may have some of my marinara sauce on your cheek.

2006-02-05T21:03:00.000-05:00

As I become older, I am more aware of the power of words. Especially the ones used as descriptors. We posed the task to our middle school small group to narrow in on the word they would want their friends to use in describing them. The idea was that they should have in mind the type of person that they want to become- that sort of stuff doesn’t just happen.

And so I though of the descriptive word that scarred me when I was a teenager. How could he have known that such a harmless comment would haunt me? It was so innocent. But his words had power of which he was unaware.

“Susan P. has got to be the nicest person ever. Really, she is the nicest person I have ever met.”

It is true that Susan P. is (was? I haven’t seen her in over 10 years and so maybe she has become cynical and bitter. Somehow I doubt it.) an extremely nice person. But I wanted to be the nicest person that he ever met. And that day I determined that I would, at some point in my future, be the nicest person that someone has ever known. Bot just nice. The Nicest.

It is true that thinking such thoughts sort of negate the compliment. I don’t think that you can technically be the nicest if you are trying. I think that it has to be natural. And so I try to forget that promise I made to myself.

Since then, my friends and I have discussed the word that we think others must use in describing us. Mine word is “easy, but not in the loose meaning of the word.” I have to admit that it is pretty right on. I am easy.

But not in the loose sense of being easy.

That day in our small group, I told the girls that I wanted to be known as generous. Generous with my time, my money, and my self.

And then a couple of weeks ago, while having a very nice dinner with a friend, he admitted that the word he used in describing me to his mom was “intimidating.” Could that be further from being nicest? And he meant it in such a nice way.

Friday, a different friend used the following descriptor: “Of higher moral fiber.” Really?

In both cases, I almost spit my food across the table in disbelief.

Hmm. It looks like I have a ways to go. Nicest. One Day. Or, I’ll settle for generous.

My Life is a Comic Strip

2005-10-21T13:26:00.000-05:00

For years now I have been reading the comic strip “For Better or For Worse”.  Not only on Sundays.  Everyday.  Religiously.  Momma and I both read it.  And sometimes we are even dorky enough to talk about it.  (Do you think that the police officer Elly met will go track down Elizabeth?)

I relate with Elizabeth.  One she shares my name.  Also, I like the fact that she is the eldest of the Patterson daughters, a teacher, and still single.  A few years ago, momma gave me a framed copy of one of the Sunday strips.  Elizabeth was away at college and sick.  The radio was playing advertisements for cold medicines.  She kept switching the station and got more commercials:

“….cold and allergy you will be…”

static static static

“…for every symptom.  May cause drowsiness, blurred vision…”

static static static

“…under the weather?  Just call…”

click of the radio being turned off.

The final frame shows Elizabeth with the phone to her ear and she is saying, “Hey mom, I don’t feel good.”

That is so me.

But really, I didn’t think that my life would continue to parallel that of a cartoon drawing.  That is, until we moved.

Right now, one of the story lines is that Michael Patterson (the eldest of the Patterson offspring), his wife and their 2 kids are living above extremely obnoxious neighbors.

This is so us.

I don’t know a lot about our neighbors.  I don’t even know their names.  What I do know is that EVERY night, someone next door decides to play music with the bass turned all the way up.  I am beginning to think that he (or she?) might be an aspiring musician, because last night, I heard the same 8 measures of base line for about 45 minutes.  I could sing it to you right now. He would play it for a minute and a half and then there would be silence.  And then it would start again.  Over and Over and Over.

For 45 minutes at 10:30 PM.

I am not exaggerating at all when I say that at one point, with tears of frustration welling up in the corners of my eyes, I had my fingers in my ears, and my head under three pillows.  It didn’t help.  Rather, it was much like the experience of putting your head under water in the bathtub.  Some sounds are muffled, but the low tones just seem to be intensified.

And when it stops I think that if only I can fall asleep before it starts again, then I will be fine.  (Is it possible to sleep through the thumping?)  Like when someone in the room is snoring and they roll over- sweet relief as long as you can get to sleep before they start back.  Wednesday night, our neighbor decided to call it quits at about 11:30 PM.  But he must have had a moment of inspiration in the middle of the night because the continuous “THUD THUMP THUD” awakened me at 4AM (!)

They (He/She/Whoever is dwelling next door) are going to push me over the edge.

In the comic strip, Michel writes freelance for a magazine.  He wrote an article about his annoying neighbors and it got published in a magazine.  The neighbors read it and after some threats of lawsuits, it looks like the obnoxious neighbors are about to move.

Please let my life parallel that last part too.

communicating

2005-10-14T16:10:00.000-05:00

Before you begin to misconstrue anything, let me point out again that I love my family.  I think that they are the greatest and I am hard pressed to find fault in any of them. (Rebecca does stuff that annoys me, but for crying out loud, how many sisters do you know that can live together in relative harmony- the usual drama is stuff of novels and movies.)

Now that we are clear, I will tell you that my family is not big on communication.   One friend just shakes her head and laughs becasue she knows that I have an amazing family and the counselor in her can't come around the fact that we don't talk about major decisions and problems. We talk, but not a lot about feelings, even when we hurt one another.  After a period of time, it is assumed that the offending party is sorry and the offended person gets over said offense.  I just don’t think that we see the need to discuss things.

I have the tendency to carry this habit of not discussing issues over into my relationships with friends.  Confrontation makes me uncomfortable.

But this means that I also miss out on some of the middle of the night, all our defenses are down, and these are the things that really shape me conversations.  (You know the ones?)  And slowly, all of my interactions become about how our weeks are going, or weekend plans- boring stuff really.

I have a friend who I don’t see nearly enough.  And I just realized that this friend writes a blog mainly because he knows that I will read it.  And suddenly we are able to communicate in a different way.  Not really carrying on a conversation, but just sharing our thoughts confident that the other will understand.  And it reminds me of one of my favorite summers when we spent hours in the car, always looking forward and rarely face to face, but we had the best conversations.

I need more of that.

No postings in a while

2005-10-07T12:41:00.000-05:00

Someone recently gave me a hard time for not posting in a long while. The excuses are numerous:

The school year is stays too busy to accomplish much other than getting to work on time.

There is also a rut that some with the academic year. Nothing exciting ever happens. (With the exception of two surprise random holidays for the gas shortage.) During 8th period today, I will teach a lesson on triangle congruence. It will be the 10th time in 3 years that I have taught this lesson. I could teach congruent triangle in my sleep.

And then there is reason number 3. I think that part of me is afraid that I am not changing as quickly as I would like and writing about it would verify this truth. I am afraid that I am not becoming kinder, more humble, or more generous. My words are far from encouraging most of the time. And a blog documents this lack of change.

I will try to move past my excuses and start writing on a more regular basis, but I am not making any promises.

Another Year Another Move

2005-08-18T15:38:00.000-05:00

We have almost finished the first full week of the 05-06 school year. The early mornings are beginning to get a little easier and I am resigning myself to being the loser that is exhausted at 8 PM.

As of yet, I don’t have a lot of great stories about my students this year. Those of you who were reading my blog last spring might find some humor in knowing that the kid who made me so angry with his journal entry (I renamed him Jack in the April 21st post) just came by yesterday and asked me to write a college recommendation for him. He kind of put me on the spot in front of one of his classmates for whom I am writing a recommendation; I didn’t know what to say.
But as for this year’s group of students, I am still struggling to learn their names and their personalities. In turn, they are still trying to get use to my hiccups.

My class load is excellent. I am teaching three different courses of Geometry. Two I have taught before, and the third (my Euclidean class) is my first shot at teaching an on-level class of kids. They ask questions and they don’t complain about taking notes; it’s a teacher’s dream come true.

And with the beginning of a new school year, I am getting ready to do the same thing I seem to do every fall- move.

Rebecca is closing on her new town home (and my new home) tomorrow. The boxes have reemerged to cover every imaginable space and for the 7th time in 6 years, I get to spend evenings and a full weekend packing CDs, and books, and dishes, and clothes, all the other junk we have managed to accumulate. Man, I hate moving. But I will like living in our new, nice, and very empty because we don’t have the furniture to fill it, home. And I will like calling Rebecca by her new name, “My Slumlord.”

Grown Up?

2005-07-11T15:59:00.000-05:00

Though I am in my late twenties, I have a hard time feeling like a grown-up. Each year on the first day of school, I find myself sturggling with the seemingly absurd idea that true grown-ups would trust a class of teenagers to my care. It's just crazy.

One of the areas that I my hestitancy to be a grown up becomes apparent is my contentedness with apartment dwelling. I understand the argument that I am just throwing money away in monthly rent. I just have no desire to own a place. You have to be a grown up to own a home.

This past spring, the observation was made that all of our married friends had a preoccupation with their grass. All discussions would eventually return to the type of seeds they were trying or new methods of riding the yard of crab grass. Now, I will be the first to admit that I am eager to be married; really I can't wait for that day. But at the same time, becoming married seemed to make all of my friends more grown up.

And now the same thing is happening to my single friends. While I was out of the country, the last two renters in my core group of friends, closed on houses of their own. They left me to be the sole apartment dweller. (And now Rebecca is serioulsy considering buying a place and I will just be throwing rent money away to her.) And they have all grown up. On my first full day back to Atlanta, I found myself accompanying two friends to Ikea where they looked at appliances. And then on Friday, Beth F. gave me a full rundown of the kitchen remodel that she is plannig. She asked my advice on things like the cabnitery and paint color. I had nothing to offer. That's grown up stuff.

I guess that my friends are all just going to grow up without me. I suppose that I will just have to resign myself to conversations about home maintanence and neighborhood association fees. As long as I just don't totally revert and move back home, I think that I will be fine.

Two Weeks Later

2005-07-09T11:54:00.000-05:00

I think that I did a great job of keeping you up to date while I was gone, but now it has been almost a week since I have been back and nearly two since I have posted. Shame. The truth is that I don't have much to write. And while this normally wouldn't stop me, since I have been home, more people than I expected have been telling me that that were reading and that makes me a little nervous.

This is Alex and I on the Great Wall.

Our time in Beijing was nice. It was super cool to visit the Wall and all of the sites in Beijing. It was also a nice chance to unwind and spend some time thinking about the last month. However, being in Beijing made me miss the laid back attitude of the city that we had just left.

The flights home were okay. While we didn't get bumped to business again, we did score an exit row for the long flight. I will never fly without the aid of Xanax again- it is truly a marvelous little pill that creates an anxiety free Beth. There was only one brief period of time when I thought that I was going to lose it and demand an emergency landing. It was on the San Francisco to Atlanta flight and Alex (being a gentleman) gave up MY aisle seat (that I had so graciously allowed him to have) to a woman who said that she couldn't sit in the middle because of a leg problem. So I was between this woman, who had no awareness of where her seat ended and mine should have begun, and a late-teenage girl who thought it would be comfortable to put her feet up on the fold down tray. A state of claustrophobia set in that even the Xanax couldn't contend with.

Coming home, jet lag has kicked my tail. The first night, I woke up at home but for about 2 minutes I had no idea of where I was. After that I had trouble sleeping past 3AM. I finally slept at decent hours for the past two nights, but I think that is only because I have been taking cold medicine for the head cold I picked up upon returning. Also, I won't go into detail, but my stomach has had issues readjusting. It hasn't been so much fun and I can only say that I am glad the jet lag going wasn't this debilitating.

This week I have been meeting friends for lunches and dinners and shared stories. I finally have gotten all of my pictures developed (all 337 of them- a number I realy like) and I need to start the process of getting them into an album.

Yesterday I took Uncle Chief (see a post in early April about the eye clinic) to the VA hospital. When he got in the car and I asked him how he was doing, he informed me that the bleeding and weeping behind his eye has slowed down and I knew then that it was time to change the subject.

We are headed to the beach next week. Unfortunately, it looks like Dennis is going to make landfall and possibly supercede our reservations at Gulf Shores. The area is just finishing recovering from Ivan last year and it is sad that it looks like they could have a lot of damage again.

I'll try to find something exciting so that I will be motivated to post. For those of you who were just reading for the China stories, it has been nice having you along. Maybe I will go back next summer and you can rejoin in on the fun.

Right now, I think that this is my favorite picture of the Wall.

Retraction

2005-06-27T21:46:00.000-05:00

Tuesday morning here and I don't have much to add.

However, I just talked to momma and daddy. I need to apologize if earlier I made it sound as if momma was insensitive and not missing me. She told me that she thought about me all weekend and when they got together to do the family poitrait, she had to fight back tears because I wasn't there and it made her sad. I thought that the previous story was just funny, but I may have hurt her feelings by implying that she wasn't concerned about her eldest daughter. For that I apologize.

My parents decided that after leaving Mobile, they might as well spend some time at the beach and so they headed over towards Destin. It was almost 10:oo PM EST when I talked to them and they were just finished eating and they still had not found a place to stay. Just like always, they had made no reservations. At least I come by my laid back attitude honestly.

I am about to head off to do some last minute shopping. The first morning that we were here(and before I relized that mine was dual voltage), I broke Carole's (the renter of apartment we are staying in while she is in the states) hairdryer. Actually, it just sucked up some of my hair and I had to cut myself loose. The hair dryer still works, but there is the rancid smell of burnt hair every time you turn it on. I need to replace it. Then I am going to come home and pack, before going for one last massage with Heather tonight.

This will very likely be my last post from China.
I will be back in the states Sunday about 9:15 AM EST and back in Atlanta Sunday night at 6.
Hope you all have a lovely week.

Visa Woes

2005-06-27T08:52:00.000-05:00

I think that I really frustrated Rachel today.

Our Visa expired today. Almost 2 weeks ago, we took our passports to the guy that was suppose to handle it, 15 days before it expired. Only when we took it in wee we told that we needed to have two passport pictures to go along with the application and our 120 kuai. And so we went and had passport pictures made and took them back the next day. A week later Rachel went to check on them and was told that they needed a copy of our departure plane ticket. So we made a copy and took it back the next day.
Last Friday, we went to pick up our passports and we were told that the guy had not taking them to the Exit/Entry Government Building place. We were told that they would be ready today. So this morning, Rachel called before we walked over to the school. The guy still hadn't taken the passports to the office! (Welcome to China.) And he told us that they needed a copy of our credit card to to verify that we had funds to facilitate our travel in country. So, we made copies and blacked out the numbers. Then we drove with the guy to government building. Now we have been told that we will be able to get our passports (with valid visas) back at 5:00 tomorrow (Tuesday) afternoon. Seeing as how we leave Wednesday morning, we really need to get our passports back.

Now this whole time, Rachel has gotten really frustrated with the seeming run-around that we have been getting. I on the other hand (as it is my nature) have had a hard time getting worried or worked up about it; I tend to think that everything will work out. I guess that we will see tomorrow.

Tonight, we took Heather and Taylor out for a nice dinner to thank them for all of their help here. It was an awesome dinner. I had caviar for the first time (it was on top of me salmon) and incredible Tiramisu. (Wendy, you would have liked it because there was plenty of tall food.) I would have to save for a month to have this nice of a dinner in the states. For the 4 of us here, it was less than $90, and we each had a glass of wine. When I come back, I think that I am going to totally be in shock at how expensive things are.

So tired

2005-06-26T06:47:00.000-05:00

So, I have been homesick this weekend. I called my family in Mobile on Friday and talked to all four of them through speaker phone. I told momma that I was homesick and her response was the following:
"I know what you mean. Just yesterday when we were still in LaGrange I was sad too."
(At this point I was thinking that she was about to tell me how much she missed me too. I was thinking that it was so sweet how she knew exactly what I needed to hear.)
"I mean everyone was already down in Mobile and I was feeling left out and ready to get there. I guess that I was sort of homesick too."

Thanks momma. That's what I needed.

Thankfully, I was kept really busy yesterday. These two friends wanted to take me around and show me things. I met them at 11 at the main shopping street downtown, The Walking Street, and my friends informed me that it would be a day of surprises.

Before I tell you about the "surprises", I should tell you about things that effected the whole day.
Unlike most days in this city of smog, yesterday (and coincidentally, today) was a beautiful sunny day. Chinese girls do not like to be in the sun and so you will see more umbrellas on a sunny day than you will on a rainy day. Furthermore, if a girl is walking along with her umbrella, she will colapse it if she walks into the shade and then she will put it back up when she walks back into the sun. It doesn't matter if she is going to be in the sun for only 5 steps, she is still going to put up the umbrella. And they wanted to watch out for me, make sure that I wasn't getting any unneccessary sun. The problem is that I am a good 5 inches taller than these girls. All day long, I had to suffer from pokes to the forehead and detangle the end of the umbrella ribs (?) from my hair. I finally thanked them for watching out for me and explained that Americans liked the sun. "See how white I am, I need the sun to give me color." They took one look at my white arms and obviously agreeed that I needed some color, for they no longer tried to offer me shade too. I came home with a nice little triangle of red where the V-neck of my shirt exposed my skin.

The other thing that I should tell you is that one of the girls, H., apparently has the memory of an elephant. She remembered things about me that I never remembered saying. I am sure that I must have told her things to make communicating easier and yesterday, it all returned. For example, maybe she had in the past said something to the effect of, "Do you like goldfish?" And I, really having no feelings one way or the other about goldfish would have replied, "Yeah, I like goldfish." It is polite and is the easy way in a conversation that is already strained by lanuage issues. And then, when I least expected it, H. would come back and show me all of the goldfish in the town all the while reminding me that I said I liked goldfish.

So. 11:00. Day of surprises.

The first surprise was the picture booth thing. Like those picture booths you see in the mall, except you have to pick out the frame for each picture that you are goinng to take and the pictures come out small and on sticker paper. (Wasn't there a camera that did this not too long ago?) These machines are all over the place and until yesterday, I thought that I was going to escape. But H. & K. decided that we needed to take 36 pictures. After spending close to half an hour of picking out borders, we finally started taking the pictures. Being the foreigner, it was expected that I be in almost all of the pictures. Furthermore, it is not enough that you just stand there and smile; you have to make faces, or throw a peace sign, or other hand gesture. (I wish that I could have remembered some of the gang signs that Rebecca and my students taught me.) And the whole time, our faces are super close. I hate people being close to my face, especially when it is over 100 degrees, and so I just tried to make as many faces as I could to end my worst nightmare as soon as possible.

Next, we were off to my second surprise. "Remember Beth, you said that you like tofu." So we went to eat at a famous tofu place. It would have certainly been more difficult for me to have originally explaing that I don't despise tofu, but it isn't my favorite, that I would eat it if I were starving and it was the only thing around. However, yesterday, I regretted not taking the time to explain.

Next surprise, a Buddist temple. She had it right. I did want to see a temple and I had not yet done this. I won't write much, because you should really see the pictures. Let me just say that I don't understand a believe system where you have to pay money to get into the house of worship, light incense in hope of catching the attention of your diety, and then rely on an elaborate combination of kneeling and bowing before a statue made of metal that is shipping away. I just don't get it.

Then we went to the antique market. For almost 3 hours we walked around this antigue market. "Remember Beth, you said that you like Chinese antiques." AHHHH!
When you have seen one jade Budda pendent, you have just about seen them all. (Momma, I do not think that I will be going antique hunting with you and Aunt Pat any time soon.)

Then to the park, because apparently at some point in the past couple of weeks, I said that I had never been to a Chinese park. At least here we got to sit down. The time was now about 6:00 PM. And even though I have been downing the bottled cold green tea, this whole time I have managed not to use the bathroom because I know that there would be no chance of a Western toilet and I didn't think that I could find a decent (if there really is such) squatty. I could very well come home with a kidney infection.

Finally, H. says that it is time for dinner. She took me to a very good pizza place. And they had Diet Coke. I could have cried.

I finally made it home a little after 8 PM. I was exhausted. And filthy. After a quick shower, I watched a cheesy movie to decompress from a day struggling with language and then I went to bed.

Today, since it was so nice, I went to the pool for the first time. It was really crowded and the little kids had the tendency of just going to the bathroom where ever. (Have I told you about the split pants? From infant-hood untit potty training, kids are dressed in outfits that have a split in between the legs. This way, whenever they have to go to the bathroom, they can just squat down and go. Anywhere. It's part of the reason you NEVER go barefoot.) But other than that, it was very lovely.

We have 2 more days here before leaving for Beijing early Wednesday morning (your Tuesday night). I will try to write at least once more, but I can't promise.

And lest she become really mad at me, I should tell you that Sara Hood is the funniest person I know, with the exception of maybe daddy who just has a sort of sarcastic and sometimes sadistic sort of humor. Sara, I had been saving your cards because I knew that they would be great. And just like I will clear the rest of my plate before starting in on the cream corn (my favorite), I have been saving your cards. You didn't dissapoint: Asphalt. Still laughing.

Number 7

2005-06-24T02:03:00.000-05:00

My cousin Carolyn is getting married this weekend.

Momma has two sisters: Aunt Pat (the twin) and Uncle Jack have three kids- Emily, Michael and Carolyn; Aunt Marie and Uncle Keith two- Jared and Havely. When we were younger and would go to family reunions, the beach, or Six Flags together, our moms would dress us in matching outfits or T-shirts, each family having a slighty different color. I vivdly remember the parrot shirts that we all had- we Cleaveland girls got the teal shirts.

But in our family, the most famous of these shirts were the number shirts. The originals were a maroonish-brown color with yellow lettering. The front had a large number denoting our birth order (Jared 1, Emily 2, me 3, Havely 4, Rebecca 5, Micheal 6, and Carolyn 7). On the back of the shirts were our names. We have two pictures with us standing in order. The first is just us lined up. I must have just turned 6 and I was a full head taller than numbers 1 & 2. In the second picture we are all turned around so that you can see the names on the back and we are each look over our shoulder. In both pictures Carolyn, who was just an infant, is crying.

A few years ago (could it really have been 4 years ago?) Havely was the first of the grandchildren on momma's side to get married. When we arrived in Wyoming, Havely had recreated the number T-shirts in a better color scheme and included one for Melissa who was not born at the time of the original picture. We took new pictures.

And now, number 7 is getting married. Sweet Carolyn.

Okay, so she met her groom over spring break in Cancun. And so what if her married name will be Carolyn Jolly. She is happy and I even in the few times I have been around her and Todd, I have seen how much he loves her.

I am extremely sad that I am not celebrating with them in Mobile. (In fact, today has been the most homesick that I have been the whole time.) I wish them a very happy wedding and the beginning of a wonderful life together. And Carolyn, I did manage to pick up a wedding present for you over here.

Almost Fear Factor Worthy

2005-06-22T21:02:00.000-05:00

Last night I had hot pot for the first time. At resturants dedicated to only hot pot, there will be a big table with a metal pot in the middle over a flame and you will choose your food and it will be brought to you.
However, the girls I was with wanted to eat in the canteen (cafeteria) and it is a little different. The workers bring a big can of sterno and put it in the middle of the table and then put the pot of spicy liquid with various food over it. You are suppose to wait until it boils and then just dig in. They told me that they asked for less spicy on my behalf, but it was still spicy enough to require that the food be dipped into sesame oil before putting it into your mouth; apparently, the oil acts as a defense for your body.
So inside the pot, there was tofu, cucumbers, lotus roots, meat and pig's blood. Yes. You read correctly- pig's blood.
Imagine a jello/tofu looking substance that is dark red. Just floating around. One might confuse it for liver or someother internal organ that shouldn't be eaten.
I am never one to shy away from a culinary challenge. (When Rebecca and I finally make it onto Amazing Race, it has been decided that I will do any of the eating challenges.) The girl's kept telling me that it was good and that I would like it. I asked them to clairify exactly what substance pig's blood is, hoping that it would simply be a name for a legitimate type of meat. Alas, I was wrong:
"You know, maybe when you kill pig (at which point I should have stopped them, because when have I ever killed a pig) the blood comes out and it is saved. Maybe some tofu powder is mixed with it and it gets solid. Pig's blood. Really, it is good."
My philosophy is that I will try anything once (unless there is a chance that it might be banana flavored, then I won't touch it). I might like it and at very least it will make for a good story.
Consider it a favor from me to you: Stay away from the pig's blood.
The best way to describe it is the taste you have when you swallow after your nose has been bleeding, all wrapped up in a jello block.
I reached for my water that one of the girls had gone out of her way to buy for me. And I took a big gulp. Instead of regular water, she had bought me mint water which tastes like someone brushed their teeth with wintergreen toothpaste and then spit into my bottle of water.
All around, it is safe to say that last night was not one of my favorite dining experiences.

So Close

2005-06-21T21:02:00.000-05:00

Warning: this post is not for the easily grossed out.

I am in the home stretch. I was in the home stretch on Sunday and I thought that I was going to not have a single stomach issue. Alas, it was not to be.

Sunday night, while many of you were celebrating with your fathers, or enjoying a lazy Sunday afternoon, I was lying in bed contemplating whether death by various means of torture would be better than the angony that I was in. About 11 o'clock, I had a sharp pain in my abdomen and then a moment of hesitation as if my body was trying to decided in which direction it would be faster to expel the offending substance from my body (and at various points of the night, both directions won out). Thankfully, this gave me enough time to get out of bed and make it to the bathroom. It lasted for SIX hours and was accompanied by a 102 degree fever. I was misearble. Thankfully, at about 5AM, I was able to sleep for a short while. It was obvious that I couldn't go to class when I woke up and threw up the apple juice I tried to drink. So, Monday was waste of a day. I just laid around and waited to fill better.

The irony is that I do not think that it was Chinese food that made my feel bad. This was not my stomach just disagreeing with food. I have no doubt that it was food poisoning and I think that it was from the sandwich at Subway. Sunday was the first day that the Subway opened here and my American friends were super excited about it. So we went to get sandwiches for dinner. Nevermind that only 2 days ago, the building had no glass and no equipment. The chinese have a way of leaving stuff out (like the egss are just on a random shelf in the supermarket) and so who knows how long the meat was out. I think that it was the turkey.

And another thing that is different here. There is no health code for resturants and certainly no reporter going around and telling you the rating of various restaurants. At one of my favorite places, a haven of Western food if you will, I recently watched a roach crawl across a table. (I am choosing to forget that it happened and I will henceforth put it out of my mind.) And yesterday at Pizza Hut, we watched a boy about 6 years of age walk up the salad bar, study the ranch dressing and then lick the ladle before returning it to the container. Thankfully, none of us were eating salad.

Catching You Up

2005-06-19T04:37:00.000-05:00

Happy Father's Day to those of you who are fathers. This week, I am on time.

Let me see if I can catch you up. I was starting to feel the pressure of writing an entry all of the time. So many of you have told me that you have been reading and enjoying it and I want to be at least a little funny. I decided that it was okay that I wouldn't be around a computer for a few days and it would give me a chance to get some new material. I was right.

Thursday night, we had a party at our house. We had the other team over and some of our friends. We watched the hour long verision of Jamie Lane's favorite movie- "The J Flick" as we call it. It was in Chinese and did not have subtitles. At least I knew what was happening with all of the fantastic sound effects.

Friday night we went to eat Indian food and were hit on by some Australian Chinese guy. He told us (Heather, Rachel, and I) that we should get a Chinese boyfriend. After dinner we went to a hairwashing place. For less than $3, we had a 40 minute hairwashing/head message. Amazing! (Though, about halfway through I decided that I like the foot massage place more than someone playing with my head and neck- m personal space issue.)

Yesterday I met one of my Chinese friends to do a study. Then we met another friend because they wanted to show me around town. 7 hours of showing me around town! I have a ton of pictures of me in front of all these random things. I have learned that Chinese people rarely take scenery pictures; instead they would rather have someone staning in the picture. And if they are alone, then the rule is that you don't smile and by all means, don't show your teeth. So we walk 10 steps and "Maybe, you take a picture here." Another ten steps and, "maybe you can take picture here." Lest you be confused, "Maybe" does not imply that I have a choice, really they are saying, "You need to take a picture here."
We went to have dinner at this dumpling place and my friends wanted me to get this meal that was only 20 kuai and you got a sampling of all kinds of foods. When I saw hers, I was glad that I passed. I did suck it up and got these rice balls with seseme seed filling. The inside was good but the outside tasted like glue.

After dinner, we walked down cell phone street. Every street has a speciality. Cell phone street. electronics street. pet street. instrument street. frame street. I don't know where I was going with that, but it strikes me as a little funny.

I think that is all for now. It is hard for me to believe that in a mere 2 weeks from now, I will be on my way home. Crazy.

Public Transportation

2005-06-15T07:52:00.000-05:00

I have never ben a fan of Public Transportation. I am not of the belief that Marta is Smarta. And rare is the day that I will get on a bus in Atlanta.

One of the things I am learning while here is to have an appreciation for public transportation, in particular buses. However, yesterday afternoon I had a brief moment of panic on a bus here.

I spent most of the afternoon hanging out at the Coffee Beanery. I was suppose to meet Rachel and some friends at the freshman campus at 6:00. Heather and I didn't leave downtown until about 5:40 and so I was on a tight time schedule.
Now I must explain the bus situation. There are two buses that we take back and forth. The 41 is a bus dedicated to the school. It leaves the South gate of the main campus and goes to the front gate of the East (freshman) campus; it makes only 1 other stop on the way. The 336 is a city bus and makes many stops, including stops in front of our apartment complex, in front of the school, and at the back gate of the East campus.
Since we were going to be eating at the back gate of the East campus, I was going to catch the 336 when the taxi put us out at the front gate of the main campus. I would barely make it in time. When we pulled up the campus, there was a bus leaving, so I paid quickly and told Heather goodbye and hopped on the bus so that I wouldn't have to wait on another. The bus pulls off and almost immediately, I realized that I didn't get on the 336 because I got on the bus coming off campus. I was mad at myself because this meant that I wouldn't be taken straight to the back gate and I would have to walk across campus. And that is when it hit me- the bus I was on wasn't following a route that I had ever been on. In fact I didn't recognize any of where we were. I hadn't looked at the bus numbers at all and I began to fear that I wasn't on the 41 either.

Thank goodness, after a minute and a half, we passed a water tower that I recognized. I was on the 41 and it took my straight to the front gate of the east campus. Huge sigh of relief.

One other note:
Today I wore a solid white skirt and ate two full meals with chopsticks, one of which was noodles with balsamic vinegar on it, and I didn't spill a thing on my skirt. I am sure that some of you might that that this is no big deal, but let me assure you that for me it is huge. I am super proud.

Soundtrack

2005-06-14T08:09:00.000-05:00

Before I write about what I really want to share, I need to make an apology. In my last post I said that my family was taking vacation without me. That was the plan before I left. Thankfully, I was wrong. Apparently Rebecca couldn't get off work and Melissa has school the week my parents wanted to go. I am just going to go on thinking that they couldn't stand the thought of a week at the beach without me. I am confident that is the true heart of the matter.

Now, on with my post...

Some friends and I (Wendy and Beth Fain) had a conversation a while back about needing a soundtrack for our lives. We discussed whether we should pick out our favorite songs or if the music should be just played in the background without our picking it out.

Here, it is not so mch an issue. In nearly every public place there are small little speakers hidden in the bushes, much like a que line at Disney World. At all hours there is music playing. Usually, it seems that whoever is in charge of the soundsystem for the day picks out one CD and then puts it on repeat. Sometimes, the music is traditional Chinese music. Sometimes the Chinese born, English singing popstar CoCo Lee, and sometimes (like on campus today) it might be a Western group like Coldplay. Yesterday, as I came back to our massive apartment complex, the music de jour was Auld Langs Syne. "Should old acquaitance be forgot and never brought to mind?...." It isn't exactly what I would pick for a day in June when the heat index topped out at 107, but I suppose that it is better than the Disney tunes played by Kenny G that they have been stuck on.

I am sorry for those of you who stayed up late last night to catch me online. We don't have class on Wednesday and so I didn't go to a internet bar. I am using Rebecca's computer while we watch the third Lord of the Rings. It is already Tuesday morning for y'all.

Have a good day.

Monday

2005-06-13T01:26:00.000-05:00

Huh. So, for the first time ever, the MSN messenger is working in the internet bar. I am signed on and all of you are asleep because it is, oh 2:30 in the morning for you. I did have a nice chat with Jamie Lane this morning when I used the computer in one of our classrooms and it had messenger. (It was only about midnight then.) So, if you are ever struck by a bout of insomnia, be sure to get up and log in- I just might be online.

This morning on our way to school, we left early so that we could call home and wish our dads a happy father's day. In a way it is nice to be here because even though we forgot about the holiday until late Sunday evening, we are still 12 hours ahead and so we hadn't missed it in the states. But, obviously, we were an entire week early. oh well. I couldn't track down momma and daddy anyway and so I just had to leave voicemail. Daddy, you should save it and play it next week. (Besides, I am a little put out that our family vacation at the beach is going to the the week before I get back. That's rotten.)

When I wrote my last post, I forgot to tell you that on Friday we went to the Panda Research/Conservation Place on Friday. I got to see many a Giant Panda and a few kid Pandas. I took lots of pictures and I think that they will be a better description than anything I could write. In addition to the Giant Panda, there is apparently another Panda, frequently called the "Red Panda," or (with less regards to the Panda's self esteem) the "lesser Panda." Really it looks nothing like any panda that you would imagine. We had the opportunity to hold and have our picture taken with one for a mere 50 kuai (appx. $6). Part of me wanted to hold the panda, because when in the world am I going to have the chance to hold a panda again? But then the rational part won out- If I came back with a picture of me holding this sort of ugly racoon looking thing, there is no way that I would be able to convice my cynical family that it was really a panda, so I would have been just wasting my money. It was a good decision because the panda decided to prove to my friend Taylor that he isn't "lesser" by biting Taylor's arm.

Saturday was a big festival here: the Dragon Boat Festival. (The following knowledge is proof that I am paying attention in culture class.) It commenerates the death of a great poet who wanted his part of ancient China to stand up for themselves and not be overrun by whoever was trying to conquer their land. Many people disagreed with him and their province/area merged with the neighboring province. He was so upset by this, that he thought it would be better to wrap his arms around a giant rock and then jump into the river, drowning himself. When everyone learned that the poet had done this, they were very sad and they threw food into the water so that the fish would eat the food instead of eating the poet. (How kind, right?) Eventually they decided that the dead poet needed food and so the zhong zhi was born. It is a pyramid of sicky rice with some random culinary surprise in the middle and the whole thing is wrapped in a palm leaf and tied with a string. Now, I don't really know why it is called the dragon boat festival, but the present day practice is to get together with family and eat some zhong zhi. At sundown, people go down to the river and put a tea light candle in a paper boat that they have written their wishes upon and then set the boat in the river. Thousands upon thousands of little flaoting lights. It was very beautiful and thanks to extended exposure, I have some very nice pictures of it as well.

What wasn't as beautiful was the 4 zhong zhi that I had to eat. You could see the look in their eyes. It said, "Oh there is a foreigner and I bet she doesn't know about our festival. I should give her one of our zhong zhi." The first had some sort of bland meat, the second (and best of the 4) had what I think was figs, and the last two, bean curd. yum.

Even though I wasn't so much a fan of the zhong zhi, I have been eating things that I never would have thought of going together. For instance, today for lunch, I had a type of fried rice (peas, carrots, and pork that looked more like Spam than pork) and it was covered by a very thin fried egg (think omelet) and topped with catsup. Sounds gross. In actually, it may be one of my favorites. That or the tomatoes and eggs dish.

Finally, a note on the poor packing advice that I received before leaving the states. I was warned over and over about the food and told to bring planty of stomach medicine. So, I have 4 bottles of Pepto tablets that I have yet to touch. (Honestly, I think that I have enough that I could be taking three a day.) And yet, I wasn't told about the bugs and so I have absolutely no misquito repellent. And I haven't been able to find any here that works.
Bug bites prior to weekend with Pandas and hanging out by the river: 6 on right ankle and 8 on left for a total of 14
Bug bites after weekend spent in mosquito havens: 12 on right leg, 10 on left leg and 4 on each arm for a total of 30.

Still no one online. Hope you are all having sweet dreams. Good night from the Steller Cyber Cafe. (For real, I can't make that sort of thing up.)

Driving Stories and More Tells of Buying Stuff

2005-06-11T03:16:00.000-05:00

So today I have random stories for you.

The first one actually happened last Wednesday and I just forgot to write about it. I was on the bus going to the other campus and we stopped at a traffic light. There was a van right next to us with 3 people in it. I swear to you, while we were at the light, all three people in the van got out and all three switched seats. A real life Chinese fire drill. I was alone, but I almost died laughing.

Two- On Thursday night, Rachel and I wanted to go eat dumplings and get another massage. I have a map of the city (which makes me very happy) and the dumpling place was marked. I showed the driver, but I could tell immedicately thart he had no clue as to where we waned to go. So, we called Rebecca and had her tell him in Chinese. She told him the road name and that it was close to the American Consulate building. He nodded and off we went. Almost immediately, he started talking in Chinese obviously thinking that we would understand if he just kept talking. It should have taken 15 minutes. Forty-five minutes later, he has asked no less than 20 random people on the street and other taxi drivers. At one point he asked a police officer and for a hile we had our own police escort. The problem was that I wasn't entirely sure about where we were going. We had only been there once and I think that it was in my first few days of fog. Still, when we got to the consulate, I told him to pull over and let us out. I headed in the direction that I thought should be it and in three blocks we were there. It gave me even more confidence in my directional apptitude. And I paid attention to the number of this taxi driver in case we have to come back through this city on Amazing Race- we will know not to get in his taxi. And I treated myself to a 90 minute massage. Alls well that ends well.

My buying stories: Today I got my first order back from the tailor. I had a skirt copied and it came out awesome for only $4. I also purchased some CDs, one of which I was planning on buying off Itunes for at least 4 times as much. It is a good thing.

I am a little frustrated becasue my friends keep canceling on me. I was suppose to hang out with some girls yesterday afternoon and they told me that they couldn't because it was too hot. And then today, I was suppose to go shopping with a girl and she canceled because today is the dragon boat festival and her parents wanted her to come home at the last minute. I am fighting feeling like I am not doing anything worthwhile, but I know that is a lie. Let me just warn you, well those of you who love schedules and planned out days, this is not the place for you.

Have a good weekend.

Catching On

2005-06-09T03:19:00.000-05:00

First of all, I should tell you that I am feeling quite a bit better. Thank you for all of your chats with Dad to this end. I slept the better part of 10 hours last night and they remained fever free. I have only taken one evil allergy tablet today, though I think that I will take one more for good measure. Along with the fever, my headache has almost completely disappeared. My throat only hurts a little and, like the heartache of an unrequited love, I only notice it when I start to wonder, "Am I over it?"

So I was thinking just now on the bus, that I am beginning to catch on to why people love this place so much. I was a little dissappointed with myself last week, because I just didn't understand and I didn't feel a real draw to the country and, in a lesser sense, even to the people. Maybe I am just a slow learner. Today I have decided that I could really grow to love it here. I still don't understand very much, but I am okay with that.

It makes me laugh that no matter how little Chinese I actually speak to someone, they automatically assume that I am fluent. I ask, "How much for this?" and when it becomes clear that this is the extent of my command of the English language, it does not seem to matter. The guy at the bag store continued to explain the quality construction of the knock-off Nike messanger bag that I was eyeing (and eventually bought because it is just way too hot to be carrying a book bag on your back). He was just so happy to show me all of the different models and colors and really all I could do was stand there and nod.

Last night on my way home, I made my first purchase on my own. Not like a store purchase- those are easy. You just take your stuff to the counter and they ring it up and you can see the numerals on the display so it is okay if you can't quite tell if the person behind the register said 3 or 4. I have made plenty of those purchases. But last night, I was by myself and I bought roses from the lady outside our apartment complex. Twenty-one beautiful yellow roses. It may sound so simple, but I had to ask how much, listen to her answer, translate the numbers in my head, and then decide if it is a good purchase. Major thinking that would be automatic if I spoke the language. There is a good possibilty that I should have bargained with her, like you should do with all street vendors, "Oh, that is too expensive. Could you do cheaper?" But it was only 4 kuai. 21 beautiful yellow roses for the equivalent of 50 cents.

Yeah, I am beginning to think that coming home will be difficult in its own way too.

Two in One Day

2005-06-08T02:10:00.000-05:00

My two o'clock appointment had to cancel. Something about someone coming to visit maybe? I didn't really understand, but that is a state I am getting use to. Here, I rarely understand fully what is going on around me.

I think that has been one of the hardest lessons for me. I like my independance and I like being able to manage on my own. Here it is a little difficult and I am constantly having to ask how to get somewhere, or say something, or even do simple things. It has been very humbling, which is probably something that will be good for me.

I promised two stories-
Monday's lunch by myself went as well as could be expected I guess. I decided to eat in a restaurant that I had already visited and I decided that I would have sweet and sour pork since I knew that they served it. Well, when I tried to order, the waiteress looked at me with a blank expression. I showed her in my book the characters and she said that they did not have it. (I was a little frustrated becasue I know that we ate it there last week.) I pointed to another dish that I had never tried but someone had told me was good and she nodded that they had it. In English it is called "fragrant like fish chicken," which sounds really nasty, but isn't so bad. I also had to ask for rice and I apparently said it funny because the waitress went and was laughing at me with the guy at the bar. I have decided that it is okay that they laugh, at least I am trying. There was a sort of awkward moment when I was done, becasue all of the waitresses were sitting down eating and I didn't want to disturb them to find out how much I owed. (Unlike the states, the waitress brings you your food and then doesn't come back. She doesn't come back to fill up drinks because the Chinese do not drink with their meals and so you have to bring your own drink if you expect to have anything.) I just picked at my food until she got up and I felt like I could ask for "mai dan"- the bill. I ate at the smae place yesterday with some friends and we had sweet and sour pork. Maybe they just don't serve it on Mondays.

Rachel and I had some time to blow Monday afternoon and so we decided to go into the coffee shop that is outside th back gate of the East (Freshman) Campus. The window of the shop says "Savor Our Coffee. Savor Your Life." We decided that we liked it a lot becasue it was air conditioned, they brought water as soon as we sat down, they played American country music, and they had a bilingual menu. Rachel got a chocolate iced coffee that she swears tasted just like any Frappachinno. I decided to be adventerious and ordered the Mexico Sunrise Iced Coffee. The menu didn't have descriptions, just the name. Since it was on the page with the Irish Coffee, I fugured that it would have some sort of liquor. However, I started to get a little worried when I saw her reach for the bottle three times. The two women behind the counter labored for a long time on my drink. Rachel's drink came and she was 3/4 of the way finished before mine was ready.
The bottom 1/4 of the glass had a clear liquid (I think that it was peppermint syrup)
The next fourth of the glass had a green peppermint liquor.
The top half of the glass was the ice coffee (I suppose that it is to represent the red in the Mexican flag, maybe?)
Upon further inspection, I found that there was something floating around in the glass. The sun. More commonly identified as a raw egg yolk. I VERY carefully fished out the egg yolk and then drank the rest of the drink.
I think that next time, I will stay with something I can recgonize.

ill

2005-06-07T22:22:00.000-05:00

I am sick.

I started feeling bad Monday towards the end of language class and it has been down hill since then, which is why I didn't make it up here to post yesterday.

Daddy, before you get too worried and try to rush a passport application to come get me, I do not think that it is the bird flu. Rather, I think that it is just a common sinus thing or small cold. I am running a low grade fever that rises and falls in a directly inverse correlation to the amount of Ibuprofen in my blood stream. I also have a headache that pretty much does the same (by the way, the Chinese way of saying headache sounds like "toe tongue.") My nose has not been stuffy and I am able to breath with my mouth closed, even at night. The worst part is my very sore throat and mild ear ache. From what source the excess mucus is orginating, I do not know, but I wish that it would stop and I could have a Sudafed free day. If I was a bit more lethargic and if I had not already had this particular "you should only get once in your life, like chicken pox" disease twice, I would say that it is mono; the glands in my neck are certainly large enough.

I think that I have written in a previous post about how I always call home before taking medicine because I never seem to remember the side effects of decongestants and antihestimines. Well, obviously, it was a little more difficult to call home this time and besides, it seems as though I only brought one type of cold medicine with me. (What was I thinking?) So on Monday night, I took the knock-off Target cold and sinus medicine. As soon as I swallowed, I remembered that the decongestant in it is the generic Sudafed, which I do not do well with at night. For a moment, I thought about gagging myself before I could absorb the medicine, but decided that throwing up would hurt my already sore throat too much. And so I settled down for a night of little sleep. You know how sometimes you will just be laying still and then all of a sudden you will jump for no reason? Or when you are about to fall asleep in class and as your head falls, you suddenly jerk awake? That was me, all night long. During the little sleep that I managed to get, I had strange dreams. One of you, my dear readers, made it into my pseudoephedrine-hyped dreams, though you will remain nameless since you had three heads and you really didn't come out in the best light.

Since Monday, I have decided that I will have to make do on Advil only through the night.

My goal for today is to make it until 4 oclock. I have a lunch appointment and then one at 2.

I don't have time for more right now, but I must remember to tell you about my first experience dining alone and about my coffee drink on Monday.

Week Two

2005-06-05T22:42:00.000-05:00

I just finished with my English class for today. I do pretty well in understanding what is being asked, but I am still struggling with replying. This weekend's trip to the frabric market helped my competancy at buying things. I am getting much better at recognizing the numbers, which is helpful when someone wants you to pay for something and you aren't really sure which bill to get out. (Earlier last week sometime, I had an experience with a shop owner whom I needed to pay for three Cokes. I thought that he was saying that it would be 4 kuai but he was really saying 6. This little 10 year old girl translated for me, "It is 6 kuai." and then to her friends and under her breath, "Americans" in an exasperated tone.)

By the way, I learned that kaui is the correct spelling for what you say when you talk about the basic unit of money, but when you are writing it, you write juan. And there are two words for "two"- er and liang; I have not managed to figure out the rules of when to use which. i think that there are these random things just to be confusing, because Chinese isn't confussing enough on it's own.

This weekend was relaxing and we got to spend time with American friends. Last night we went over to hang out with Sonya and Travis. They ordered Pizza Hut and let us call home on their phone that has a US number. (Vonage has done wonders in international calling. You can get a number in your home area code and then you get unlimited in calling. So I called home and gave momma the number. She called back and it was like calling a number in Mississippi for her, free for the Todds.) They also have satellite TV and so we saw the news for the first time since leaving Atlanta. I had no clue about the AL girl who went missing in Aruba or about Michael Jackson's sudden mysterious sickness. Maybe I should start checking news websites when I come to check email. Thank you Lila for introducing me to the Todds while they were in town. They have been extremely generous and kind to us.

Our other big task for the weekend was doing laundry. It wasn't a big task becasue we have so many clothes, but rather, because everything was written in Chinese and I can only assume that the temperatures are in celcius. I am not the best at doing laundry when I understand the buttons I am pushing; now I am taking the clothes out and smelling them to see if they smell like they had a run in with the detergent. And I don't know what we are going wrong, but it is taking like 3 hours to dry one load. (But that could be a humiduty issue. Did I mention that when I get into bed, my sheets feel damp because it is so humid?)

I also got the tread mill working. If my conversions are correct, I ran 3.8 miles yesterday. (Rebecca, I know that I was suppose to do 5, but I was sweating more than I have ever sweated in my life. I am thinking that if I can just maintain at about 4 miles a few times a week, then I can get back on schedule when I come home. Do I need clearance from my trainer to make this decision?)

And for a little LaGrange update: Momma told me last night that LaGrange is going to get a Country's Barbecue. Scheduled to open Labor Day. I know that for many of you, this means little. But for me, it is just one more thing to draw me back home. (Momma, the link worked but the access code and password didn't. I am glad you told me over the phone.)

Finally, this weekend was my 10 year high school reunion. I was not so sad to miss it, but it did make me think about how much has changed in 10 years. If you had asked me then where I would be in 10 years, I probably would have said that I would be doing my pediatric residency. I would be married and probably expecting my first child (or children- I'd like twins). There is no way that I would have guessed that I would be spending a month in China, and certainly I would have argued with you if you had told me that I would be a teacher. Funny how things change.
I actually was asked where I saw myslef in ten years as one of the final Top Ten questions in the Miss & Mr Troup High School Contest. We got a list of possible questions before the evening and momma must have been working because I remember daddy going over the list with me and helping me come up with good answers. This is cheesy and I think that daddy came up with it, but my answer to the 10 years down the road question was that I didn't know what I would be doing, but I wanted to be "happy, healthy, and helping others." (Could I have been anymore of a dork? I might as well have thrown in that I wanted to be instrumental in bringing about world peace.)

Today, Rachel already had plans for lunch and so she went over to the other campus. This means that when I wrap things up here, I will be ordering my first meal on my own. It could prove to be interesting.

I will probably then head over to the other campus and see if I can meet with a few girls. However, I am not feeling all that well today- sore throat, headache, and runny nose- and so I might go home.

As Opposed to Yesterday...

2005-06-03T03:16:00.000-05:00

Today, I do not have a lot to say. I have sort of settled into a routine.

Last night we had dinner with a group of college students (actually, we just met the girl half of the team) from Atl who are here for a the summer as well. Rebecca and Heather fixed pasta, garlic bread, and broccolli (they even had lemon juice); it was a nice change to have something different.

This morning I slept in until about 8:30 becasue we don't have class on Friday. When I finally got going, I had to head out to the freshman campus to meet my friend from Wednesday for lunch. What I thought would be maybe an hour or hour and a half at best turned into 4 hours. (I think that she would have been content to hang out well into the evening except I told her that I had to get back.) She took me up to her dorm room becasue I had never seen one and she wants me to meet her dormmates.

What an eye opener. First of all, she lives on the 6th floor and the rule is that a building gets an elevator only if it is 7 or more stories tall. Her room is very small and she has SEVEN roommates. The beds are just flat peices of thin wood with some sheets thrown on them and there is no air conditioning. They have one sink and no closets or bookshelves. There is one desk in the middle of the room, but each girl lines her personal things along the edge of her bunk bed next to the wall. (It reminded me of how Rebecca use to hide books and flashlights down the side of her bed when we were little. Seriously, at any given time, you could find 15 books in her bed.) Like most people I have met, this girl's favorite singer is Celine Dion and she absolutly loves "My Heart Will Go On." I have known her for 3 days and she has sung it for me 4 times. "Near. Far. Wherever You Are....." I am beginning to think that I will be haunted by this song for the rest of my life.

Tonight we have been invited over to a cookout with a family that has been living here a while. Tomorrow I think that we will be going to the fabric mart to pick up some material to take to the tailor. Then we have been invited to a pool party followed with dinner at an Indian place. It should be a good weekend and I will be sure to give you an update.

To those of you who have been sending emails, thank you. If I don't have a chance to respond individually everytime, know that I do appreciate it.
If you haven't been sending emails, well, shame on you (especially you Moeisha- you are my sister!). Not really, I will hold no hard feelings.
And those of you who gave me cards before I left, I have set up a schedule because I think that I have enough to read one every other day. (Last night, I read Nicky's first one and she told me about a news report that said you could lose a significant amount of weight in a year if you just tapped your finger while you were sitting down. Nice.) Sara I am still holding off on yours for a rainy day.

I hope that you have a great Friday and weekend.

Automatic Celebrity

2005-06-02T00:28:00.000-05:00

Warning: I have a little extra time today and so this post is going to be long. Complain all you want, but not to me. I like to think that you are sitting there everyday getting much enjoyment out of my tales.

Yesterday was an extremely long day. We met some friends and I ended up talking to this girl for nearly 4 hours. Not only is it draining to focus on one person for that long, but also, my personality just isn't wired for it. I am always self consciencious about the dead air time, but apparently she didn't mind. Rachel went off with another girl and so i was on my own. (I have to admit that it was actually quite nice.)

We were sitting under a pavillion type thing in the middle of this lake and there were some really cute elderly people. (Sara, I took pictures for you.) There were also these three boys that hung around all afternoon. They would throw things at the goldfish for a while and then they would go play in the stream and then go buy something to eat at the convience store type place. They always came back loaded down with junk food and since they knew I wasn't from there, they would always offer me some. I don't know what flavor the potatoe chips were suppose to be, but I think that it is safe to say that we don't have them. Should you ever come here, I would also reccommend that you stay away from the bean curd ice cream. really. Rebecca (another American) and I gave the three boys English names, Toby, Teddy, and Bobby. Even though the had prblems pronouncing their new names, they found great delight in runing around calling to one another.

Rebecca and I went to dinner outside the back gate of the campus and she introduced me to (the spelling is based only on how I would spell it) chow cow. Basically, you walk up to the place and get a basket. Then you choose what you want to eat- I had eggplant, mushrooms, green beans, lotus root, quail eggs, and beef. (Other choices included imitation crab meat, liver, some sort of dough, and a few unreconizables.) Every thing was ona skewer and after making your selection, you give your basket to the woman. She dips it in a spiced oil and then grills it. Awesome. I will take pictures the next time I go back.

After chow cow, Rebecca showed me this place to get what can best be described as fried apple turnover. Add in a fresh peach smoothie (no smoothie king here, just peach, ice, and sugar) and you have a perfect finish to a lovely meal. It was really nice to spend time with Rebecca and to here about her year here. She is returning home to Atlanta soon but will come back again in August and will be living with one of my good friends.

Rachel and I had decided to hang around campus last night because we had word that there was going to be an English corner. It is suppose to be a time when students come together to practice their oral English skills and we thought that it would be a nice opportunity to meet people. And meet people we did. At any given time, there were 20 students standing around trting to ask their questions. I have never talked so much in my life. Nor have I ever felt so much like an instant celebrity. Like Paris Hilton, I had done nothing to deserve the attention, but still they all wanted to talk to the American.

Somehow, Rachel got all of the girls and I ended up with a mess of boys crawed around. And you should note that since they mostly get to pick their own English names, I was talking to IceMan, Napolean, Shrimp, Anger, and so forth. Just as soon as I would try to answer a question, someone new would walk up to the group, get right in my face (which you all know I loved) and start asking their questions: "Hello, Are you from America? And are you a student there? And do you like our country?"

But this is a transcription of my favorite conversation:

Student: In America I think that it is much like American Pie?

Me: I'm sorry?

S: American Pie, you know the movie?

Me: Yes, I know the movie. I think that it is funny, but I do not think that it is what all of America is like.

S: Yes. I think that in America, all boys are interest in is chase skirt.

Me: (a little confused and taken aback look)

S: You know what I mean, chase skirt?

Me: Yes, I know what you mean, and I think that there are some boys in Amearica that are very much interested in chasing skirt, as you would say, but I do not think that it is true of all boys in America. Hollywood exaggerates and not all of America is like that. Especially where I am from. I am from the Southern US and we tend to be more conserervative there. Do you know what I mean?

S: Yes. We have Chinese saying: Beauty is better from afar.

Me: Ok. (I am not really sure that we are connecting, but I am doing my best)

Friend of Student: You have governor that is Swatn... (it trails off into something I can't even begin to recognize)

Me: Say that again. I didn't understand.

Friend: Swatzn..... You know, the Terminator. "I'll be back."

Me: Oh yes I know. But he is the governor of California and I don't live there. I live in Atlanta, GA. Our govenor is a man named Sunny Perdue.

Friend: Do you think that Swatzn... is very attractive?

Me: I think that he is too big. His muscles are maybe too much. (Notice that I have begun to slip into the practice of just throwing in random maybes like they do.)

Friend: Do you think that my firend (orginal student) is too big, or is he attractive?

At this point, thank goodness, some one new walked up and saved us from this conversation. Not long after that we left, promising to return to the English corner next week.

I hear that it has been cold and rainy at home. Here it has been nothing but balmy. Hot and incredibly humid (I serioulsy do not think that it would be an exaggeration to say that it is close to 95% humidity today). Every morning we have to walk a mile to class. (Well, we actually only have class 3 days a week, but that is besides the point. I still have to get up and walk the mile to catch the bus anywhere.) Within 2 minutes, I am sweating up a storm. My hair has just settled into a state of big. Nothing I do helps. And unfortunatly, my skin does not seem to be adjusting well. My forehead looks like Rebecca's did in 7th grade (Sorry Becs.)

Today for lunch, I ate with a new friend and I let her order. Tofu cubes. It wasn't so bad, but not something I would like at every meal. So far, all of my conversations with have been very surface level, but I am hoping soon for the chance to share my story and what is close to my heart.

I think that is all I have for now. I hope that you have a great Thursday; it has been a good one for me. It is weird for me to think that you are all still asleep ( it is now 2:30 AM for you) and my day is almost over.

And one last thing, do you know what is very hard to get here? Diet Coke or Coke Light. Wouldn't you know that as soon as I made the switch, I would come to a country where no one drinks it. Of course, rare is the Chinese person who needs a diet...

Liking it More and More Everyday

2005-05-31T23:32:00.000-05:00

Don't get the wrong idea with this post. We really are doing some important things, but I just want to focus for a moment on a few of the things that I am really enjoying here.
1. The food is incredible. I don't know how we manage to screw it up in the states, but Chinese food rocks. Last night we had amazing dumplings (the only downside was when I dropped my dumpling into the dipping sauce and it splashed all over me- I can hear Aggie now, "messer, messer, messer, that's all there is to you Cleaveland girls.") and today for lunch, eggs and tomatoes. Yum. Throw in that an average meal cost less than a dollar and you will understand why I am beginning to think that it is going to be difficult for me to lose the 10 pounds I am suppose to lose this summer.
2. After dinner last night, we went to the massage place. For right at $3 we had an hour foot and back massage. How can you beat that. It would cost me far more to get Rebecca to massage my feet for an hour.
3. Fresh flowers. In my bedroom, I have 2 dozen pink roses. The cost- a buck.
4. We just discovered that the internet bar has Coke in the bottle.

I could go on, but I don't want you to think that this is just some luxury vacation.
And besides, we still have to deal with squatty potties.

Getting down to Business

2005-05-30T22:52:00.000-05:00

Until this morning, I forgot that yesterday was Memorial Day. I hope that all of you had a wonderful day relaxing with family and friends, but that you also had took time to remember all of thosewho have fought and are fighting for the freedoms we have. I am certainly more thankful now than ever before.

And on with my post of the day..
We survived lunch. We went to this little store and Rachel asked for some dish that I didn't know. The look on the woman's face told me that she didn't so much know either. She just motioned for us to sit and she would bring something. She brought out some sort of spicy beef noodles with cilantro in it. It was Awesome. Rachel is still minding her stomach and she is one of those odd people who don't really like spicy food, so she didn't eat much of hers, but mine was gone in a few minutes.
Last night, we made our way downtown to The Walking Street. It is definatly a place I will have to revisit before we leave. Billy picked up a pair of really nice looking leather shoes for 114 quai whish is about $13-$14 dollars. He then took us to the top of the Holiday Inn Crowne Plaza (quite possibly the nicest Holiday Inn anywhere) so that we could see the city. The day kind of cleared up and we could see a distant amount of teh city. It is definatlly a huge place.
On the way back, I thought that we were going to die. Our taxi driver apparently thought that we were on the Amazing Race becasue he managed to run no less than 3 red lights with traffic coming. My assessment of Chinese drivers ed is that they must only master the use of the horn. After that nothing else matters. Any paved surface is fair game for driving, including sidewalks. And traffic lights are merely suggestions.

This morning, I cold called a couple of girls that I have been told might be interested in meeting with us. It was a sucess and in an hour I am meeting two girls to practice their English. It is nice to feel like I am finally doing something and not just suffering from sensory overload.

Second Language Learner

2005-05-29T22:21:00.000-05:00

We just finished our first morning of classes and I think that it is safe to say that I am not meant to speak Chinese. I even have trouble saying the Chinese name that they have given me (Ke YiLe, which means beautiful waters). Rachel lived for six years in Taiwan and so it is not surprising that she knows a little language. And yet, we have been placed in the same class. Not only do I get to feel dumb because I just don't understand, but I am also getting shown up by Rachel who is just spitting the words out. Not so much fun. I wonder what our teacher would say if I tried to tell him that I have performance anxiety and so he shouldn't call on me in class. It's what my students would try to do, but I don't think that it would work here.

There is a college guy who was here a few weeks ago from NP. He has the summer free and so he decided that he would love to come back. With a very quick turn around, they were able to work everything out and so Alex will be joining us next Sunday. I am hoping that I will be able to at least say my name before then.

We are at some internet bar right outside the campus and we really didn't understand what we were buying. (It cost 40 quai (sp?) for both of us, which is $5, but how much time does that get you?) In addition, this text box is the only thing showing up on my computer in English. Consequently, I am just writing train of thought until it kicks me off. You will also have to forgive me for not running spell check.

Today, Billy has some meetings and so we are on our own for most of the day. We are going to go down to the freshman campus and walk around. Heather, who has been here for a year, took me over there yesterday afternoon. Rachel and I are going to get lunch and then just hang out. Then we are suppose to find a bus or taxi to take us downtown. I think that Billy wants to give us mini challenges so that we will have to try things on our own. I am not so nervous about getting around, but the finding lunch on our own bit has me a bit scared.

I haven't taken many pictures and even if I had, I think that uploading them might prove to be difficult so you might just have to wait. But here's a mental image for you. Smog. Lots of smog. and dust.
I am already missing blue skies and stars at night.

Really I think that is about all I've got for now. I have talked to momma and daddy twice (long story- they are working on getting the unlock code for my cell phone so that I can put in a Chinese SIM card and have a Chinese number), and so if you want more of an update you can talk to them.

Post One

2005-05-29T01:59:00.000-05:00

I don't have a lot of time, so this is going to be short and sweet. I am borrowing email access from one of the American girls who live in our apartment complex (which, by the way, at 33,000 people and growing could be called a small city instead of a complex) and we need to leave in about 15 minutes to go somewhere.

It is about 3 PM on Sunday afternoon and my second full day in China. Things are going well, but it is probably good that I waited to write my first post. The first 24 hours or so were super hard and I kept wondering if I had completely lost my mind in deciding to come over here. Now, as I am getting more sleep and getting use to not understanding much, I like it better.

We have had two great Chinese meals so far including spicy beef noodles for breakfast yesterday. For lunch today, we had western food.

The trip over wasn't so bad. Actually it was pretty awesome. As we were getting on the plane in San Francisco, the woman at the desk called our name and it turns out that we were bumped to business class for the 12 hour flight. Champange as you board, choice of meals, personal video screens, and fully reclining seats. I even managed to sleep and I NEVER sleep on a plane. I think that the extra rest that I got is helping with the jet lag since I seem to be doing okay now.

Rachel is not feeling so great. Right before we left, she found out that she has a stomach virus. It has not gotten better. She is taking it easy today in hope that she will start to feel better soon.

I know that this has not been very funny, nor long, but I am pressed for time. I will try to write more later this week.

Emily Hill- I read your first card yesterday and nearly cried. I do feel a bit like the girl on the front, but your reminders helped a ton.
Thank you to all of you who have provided those moments of encouragment when I feel like wussing out.

A lot to Live Up To

2005-05-20T07:53:00.000-05:00

Most of you know that I believe that I have the greatest parents ever. Furthermore, you probably know that I think they have the greatest marriage ever. This is the latest example of why I feel that way.

Momma has been a little sick with a sinus infection, but when I talked to her yesterday afternoon, I could just hear in her voice that she wasn't feeling good at all. When I asked how she was feeling, I got the following story.

Yesterday, she got up and did her morning thing, ate a banana (which is personally where I think she went wrong), and went for a walk.

When she got back home, she still wasn't feeling so good, but she needed to go into town and run a few errands. So she got ready, got in the car and made it 500 feet down the road before she knew that she just wasn't going to make it and that this week's grocery shopping would have to wait. Thank goodness that she made it home before losing the banana. (Banana’s are bad enough by themselves; I can't imagine how awful a thrown up banana in a hot car would be.)

Momma never gets sick to her stomach. This was probably the first time she has thrown up since the time she and I had the flu together when I was 12. But, as it always does when you are feeling queasy, throwing up made her feel better. And nothing sounded better than a Coke over crushed ice (we just call it Sonic's good ice, since that is the only place in LaGrange you can get it), so back into the car.

This time, she made it all the way in to town. But while she was waiting on her Coke with good ice, the wave of nausea hit again. At the same time, daddy called because they were suppose to meet for lunch and she should have made it to the car lot already. She told him that she thought that she was about to throw up and faint.

He was there in less than a minute.

I know that since daddy owns his own business, that it isn't that hard to rearrange his schedule, but it is hard for him just to drop everything at the spur of the moment. But drop everything he did. They sat in the doctor's office for a little over an hour; the doctor diagnosed momma's problems, after she threw up another two times in his office.

Then the doctor asked if she needed a work excuse. (Honestly, I didn’t even know that doctors gave work excuses.) But momma said no, because she just couldn't miss work today; there are only three pharmacists at her store and missing work is just not an option because there would be no one to cover for her.

Daddy drove her back to the house and took Melissa (who is doing nothing better on her summer break) back into town to get momma's car.

Then daddy took it upon himself to find the number and call the pharmacy scheduler to let her know that he didn't know what she was going to do, but that momma would not be able to work today.

Sometimes, I don't find it so hard to believe that my sisters and I haven't found the right guy. It's going to be hard to live up to the example that daddy has been.

My Doctor's Visit

2005-05-18T10:16:00.000-05:00

Yesterday afternoon, I went to the doctor. In preparing to leave the country, I needed a tetanus booster. You are supposed to have one every ten years and I think that I had one right before I went to college. (But it seems that maybe I didn't have one then because I had to have one when I was 13, the year of my illustrious career running track. The coach moved me to throwing the shot-put after I fell twice while running. What a joke. The second fall was bad enough to send me to the emergency room for possible stitches. The scars on my knees are still visible.) The point is that I was due for a shot.

Because momma is a pharmacist, when I am starting to feel under the weather; I usually just call home and ask her what I should take. (For some reason, I have a mental block in remembering which symptoms necessitate an antihistamine and which ones mean I need a decongestant, which ones make me sleepy and which ones give me bad dreams and keep me up at night. I always have to call home. But I digress. Again.) It has been 3 years since I have been so sick that I couldn't avoid the doctor. So, I just haven't gone.

Within the past 3 years, my insurance changed and so I had to get a new doctor. Since they didn't have a file on me, he didn't want to give me my tetanus booster without an appointment. At first, I was a little annoyed because I knew that this meant squeezing an hour of waiting room waiting into my already busy schedule.

But I was wrong. The visit was helpful on several accounts.
- I found out that I have a faint heart murmur. Nothing really to worry about, but something he said I should know, especially in light of my inherited super-slow heart rate. (Thanks, daddy.)
- Tetanus booster taken care of.
- And, the one I am most excited about: I mentioned that I really hate flying. The good old doctor whipped out his pad and wrote me a prescription for Xanax. Nice. Flight anxiety be gone.

Maybe I will go see the doctor more often.

Sibling Generosity

2005-05-09T10:23:00.000-05:00

Momma is an identical twin. She and my aunt have nearly identical families. Momma and Daddy will be celebrating their 32nd anniversary this year, Aunt Pat and Uncle Jack, their 33rd. Emily is 4 months older than I, Michael is 4 months younger than Rebecca and Carolyn is a year and a half older than Melissa.

On Wednesday, Michael is taking his sisters on a two week trip to Italy. Yeah, super nice.

A couple of months ago, when we found out about this trip, Rebecca and I were talking about how nice it was and about how great it would be if the three of us could take a similar trip. We started daydreaming about where we would go and settled on Greece.

I pointed out that Michael, the middle sibling was being the generous. (In both families, the middle sibling is the one with the lucrative profession.) I implied that she should step up and be just as generous. That pretty much ended the conversation.

A few weeks later, I asked Rebecca if she was planning on running the Chicago marathon again this year. She said no because it was too close to the Athens marathon. Not Athens, Georgia, mind you. No. Athens, Greece.

My punk sister is going to Greece. Is she taking Melissa and I with her? No.
So much for sisterly love.

Always Dorking it up

2005-04-25T13:35:00.000-05:00

This morning, I was off to a great start. Another teacher (male this time) gave me a very flattering compliment. His exact words, "You're looking hot ." Words that any girl would love to hear.

But by the end of first period, I had managed to write on my own chin with a blue pen. And several times, I leaned against the dry erase board, ensuring that I have black marker all over the back of my pants. I remember countless math professors with chalk dust (the pre-dry erase equivalent) all over their pants.

Not so hot.

I don't get it

2005-04-21T14:41:00.000-05:00

Since I began teaching, I have been amazed at the simple things that my students do not know. I am not necessarily talking about math skills, though most do lack a command of even the most basic operations. Rather, it's the lack of general knowledge and common courtesy that appalls me.

Sometimes, I wonder what my students' home lives must be like. Why are they not learning the simple skills and manners that you should get from home? This leads me to wonder, what I would do differently to insure that my kids behave better and pick up on the basic ideas?

I have no doubt that I have amazing parents. (And I am not just saying that because I know that at least one of them will read this; they are really great.) But I think back on my younger years and I can't think of anything they did that was radically different. Sometimes I wonder if they just got lucky and had three great girls?

Following are two recent examples of how my students are not being taught important things at home. The first caused me to almost pull out my hair asking, "How can you not know this?" and the other is a lesson in courtesy.

1. Today, my Algebra 2 class reviewed exponential and logarithmic functions. I completely understand that they have problems with this material. It is new and it forces them to think through the problems in a different way. But the cool part is that exponential functions lend themselves to application problems and I can finally answer the question "When would you ever use this?"

A problem from today:
Dusty deposited $1400 in a savings account earning 7% annual interest compounding yearly. How long will it take his money to triple?

They were given the formula and all they had to do was plug in numbers. Pretty simple.
They understood what I was asking. They understood the concept that if his money triples then he would have $4200 at the end. They even got the idea of compounding.

But more than 5 students asked "What does annually mean?"
Being a good teacher, if a bit annoying, I answered their question with a question: "If I were to take a shower annually, then how many times a year do I take a shower?"
Their answer: "12 times?"

I am not sure that I managed to keep all of the frustration out of my voice, but I am confident that I did much better hiding my disappointment then I did yesterday when they tried to tell me that quarterly meant 3 times a year.
16 & 17 year olds. 11th graders.

2. I have this student; we'll call him Jack to protect his identity. I know that Jack doesn't particularly care for me and really, I am okay with that. Over the course of the semester he has made it clear that he thinks I lack the intelligence needed to educate his obviously gifted mind.

Recently, I was reading over some journals that they wrote. Jack writes:

"I feel that math is more boring now than before. My math classes before were more fun and now are more boring. I used to like math but now it is starting to get on my nerves because of the way my more current teachers are teaching it. It seems as though my teachers get worse and worse as each year comes."

Where was his momma to teach him that if you don't have something nice to say, then you don't say it at all?

Maybe my parents did get lucky. But as Melissa said when she sat in on my classes, "If we had done that, Daddy would have popped us on the back of the head."

LaGrange- Smart Move

2005-04-13T14:39:00.000-05:00

That's what the water towers in LaGrange say.

Daddy called me in the middle of the day to give me a warning that my friends may soon have more ammunition in their relentless mockery of my hometown.

It seems that a lake had to be drained today because the sheriff’s office is hot on the trail of the murder body of a 22-year old Auburn student with the last name of Clinkscales. Here's the thing- this murder took place in 1976. The primary suspect in the case died in 2001. One of the accomplices died several years ago. And this is the second local lake that they have drained.

I think that Daddy thought I might be embarrassed by the inefficiencies of the Troup County Sheriffs Department. However, it is stories like these that make me love home more.

To read the full drawn out account: Arrest made in Clinkscales case

This link will probably become inactive in a week, but I am sure that if you called the newspaper, they would be glad to send you a copy. It's what small town newspapers do.

Do people think?

2005-04-12T12:20:00.000-05:00

So it is true that over the last several months, I have lost a pretty significant amount of weight. It has been so gradual that sometimes, even I have trouble noticing. However, I am at that point where people whom I don't see everyday, suddenly realize that something has changed. Overall, everyone's reaction has been positive.

Today, one of my team teachers walks into the room and says, "Wow, you are looking good. How much weight have you lost?" (This is the first time I have seen her in two and a half weeks.) I thank her, answer her questions, and think that we are at the end of the discussion.

But no. She continues with, "I am sure that now, you will just snap up a husband."

What?!? Did she really just say that? Was it a compliment? And even if it were, what was it suppose to mean?

Here's the translation I heard: "Wow, you use to be fat and ugly and so there is no wonder that you are single, but now, you should be able to get a guy with no problem." Or maybe even, "Your personality sucks and so it is a good thing that you are working on improving your looks because now you should be able to find some sucker to marry you."

And what is she saying about my future mate? That he would be so shallow as to not like me when I am a few pounds overweight? Thanks, but I will pass on that.
Funny thing is, she is in great shape but also unmarried. Hmm.

teaching woes

2005-04-12T11:02:00.000-05:00

I will be the first to admit that there are amazing benefits to teaching that are not found in the corporate world. I hesitate to complain because I fear the backlash from those of you who will be quick to point out that in a mere 6 weeks, I get two months off. (If you are one of these people who are going to get annoyed with my complaints, then I suggest that you stop reading here.)

The part of my job that I hate the most is the daily reminder that really I am just not making a difference. My self-esteem is pretty healthy, yet I have students who make me feel like an abject failure on a daily basis. For the most part, I am not talking about that warm and fuzzy, "All that will matter in 50 years is that I made the difference in the heart of a child" nonsense. I am speaking of just making an indention upon their gray matter in regards to basic math. They just don't get it.

An example from today- For the three weeks leading up to spring break, I have covered problems like the following (and I promise that these are not simplified for the sake of illustration):
x(2x+3) and (4x-8) + (-5x+2)
Not difficult. I lectured. We practiced. We played games with it. I gave homework. Everything. For three weeks.

And what do I get today? "Ms. Cleaveland, how do you do this?"

I had to completely re-teach the whole thing. I am not making a difference.

It is times like these when I just cling desperately to that 2 month vacation.

on flying

2005-04-07T09:33:00.000-05:00

Every time I walk down the jet way, I think that this will be the time that I am not scared. That my stomach will not start with the acrobatics. That my breathing and heart rate will stay within normal bounds. That I will not be the one who grasps at the armrests for dear life. I dare even think that I might catch up on a nap.

Yesterday wasn't the day. Wendy told me that I looked calm and I guess that is what matters. But inside I was fighting a battle to not reach up and place my hand on my shoulder blade, the feeling of skin on skin, to not retreat into my inner world of silent prayers and a desperate hope that we would land soon.

The rationalizations for our less than smooth flight are numerous. Perhaps it was the bad weather that was moving into Atlanta. Maybe it was just the small size of our 45-seater plane that made it prone to being tossed around. Maybe it was the fact that our pilot was only 4 feet tall and could only reach one control at a time.

And maybe it is just that we weren't meant to go screaming through space in an aluminum can.

2nd Day of Spring Break

2005-04-05T20:53:00.000-05:00

Today started out like any other Tuesday holiday from teaching. Daddy and I set off for the auction. After a few hours breathing exhaust fumes and trying to fit in with the majority good ole boy crowd, we called it a day.

My nearly 80 year old great uncle, Uncle Chief, had an appointment at the Emory eye clinic to have a shot... in his eye. As if this knowledge wasn't gross enough, Uncle Chief used the trip into Atlanta to regale us with tales of all of the eye injuries that he has sustained over the years. Sawdust in the eye. A small piece of iron shaving in the eye. Grease in the eye. The last was remedied by the doctor taking his eyeball out of the socket, washing out the grease, and then replacing the eyeball. Aren't you glad I shared?

On what is bound to be the most gorgeous day of my spring break, we spent 4 hours sitting in the waiting room of an Emory eye clinic. Even with daddy pointing out the resemblance of our waiting room peers to Gilmore Girls characters, it was a little on the boring side. As we neared the end of the long wait, I noticed the fire escape plan on the wall.

Let me remind you that this is an eye clinic. These patients have trouble seeing details, that is why they are there. I don't think that I could have gotten out according to this plan. Thank goodness there wasn't a fire.

Fire Escape Plan for 3rd floor Eye Clinic at Emory.

The Challenge

2005-04-04T15:43:00.000-05:00

The BBC recently did research to determine the UK's favourite book. Tolkin's The Lord of the Rings won, but in the process they created a Top 100 Book list.

Rebecca decided to see how many she had read and then to try to knock the rest out of the way. Momma and Aunt Pat were soon on board. I couldn't resist the challenge. With the completion of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (which I think was awful) this weekend, I am now up to 30.

Aren't you curious as to how many you have read?

The List

Mr. & Mrs. Cousineau

2005-04-04T10:44:00.000-05:00

A friend recently started a list of non-obvious and non-romantic reasons to get married. His first reason is to have someone take care of his dog when he goes on business trips. Secondly, to save money at the grocery store. (What single person can finish a loaf of bread or half a gallon of milk before it goes bad?)

I took to adding a few things to the list:
- I want to marry in order to have someone who will pay the bills. Not in the sense that I want him to be the sole provider, but in the reality that I am awful at keeping up with when things are due.
- It would be nice to have someone who could share the task of making it to the leasing office before they close. I usually have to leave packages sitting for several days before I can make it home in time for their retrieval.
- I think that the bonds of matrimony assure you a date to every semi-awkward/boring social gathering- think class reunions, holiday parties, etc.
- Hopefully, marriage will guarantee that I will never have to forgo a pickle because I am unable to get the jar open.

I am sure that the list could go on ad infinitum.

But Saturday night was different. Two of my friends stood at the front of a church in Inman Park and proclaimed their love for one another. The potential humor factor was very high. (Another friend got ordained over the internet in order to officiate the ceremony.) However, it was one of the sweetest weddings I have ever attended.

As they stared into one another's eyes, they spoke of the bigger things in life- joy, love, and a sense of finding home. Both verbally and silently, they made promises to each other. They spoke of the sovereignty of God in bringing them together and their dependence on Him to grow their marriage. In front of us, two started to meld into one.

Forgot all those other reasons. I want to get married for what I saw take place Saturday night.

Congratulations Lanette and Karl.

The First Amazing Race Blog

2005-03-30T12:38:00.000-05:00

The Amazing Race is the only show that I watch religiously. Every Tuesday at 9:00 PM you will find Rebecca and I sharing the couch and cheering on our favorite team. We actually started the application process for the next season, but my conflicting summer plans and our parent's unwillingness to be the 3rd & 4th members of our team (something new they are doing next season) but a damper on it. One day we will be on the show and we feel that the devotion now is just research.

Last night was a special 2-hour episode and it proved to be exciting until the very end.

Ray and Deana were the last to make it to the checkpoint and got kicked off. This is very good since we hated them. They were mean to each other and Ray kept saying mean things about the old couple, who we like.

Greg and Brian came in sixth. They had a great comeback after flipping their jeep and falling far behind. We like them for 3 reasons: 1. They are siblings, 2. They are hot, and 3. Greg graduated from Auburn.

Gretchen and Meredith were 5th at the end of the show. Wow. What an amazing comeback since they started the last leg with only their passports and the clothes on their backs. Though they aren't as great as past seasons old couples, they get an automatic thumbs up from us because they are old. It is amazing that they have made it this far.

Lynn and Alex- 4th I am kind of ambivalent about this team. Rebecca doesn't like them but hates other teams more.

Uchenna and Joyce- 3rd. This team is our favorite. They laugh with one another and are nice to others. Plus, we feel that they could benefit the most from the money.

Rob & Amber- HATE THEM. Seriously hate them. These two have already made money on Survivor and they are just jerks. Last night they are the only team that didn't stop to ask the brothers if they were okay after the wreck. Somehow they keep managing to squeeze into the top 3 teams. I am okay with any of the other teams winning as long as it is not Rob and Amber.

Ron & Kelly- 1st. I like this team because Ron is local and a war hero (though he talks about it too much). I could do without Kelly.

Every time the team has to pick one person to perform a task, Rebecca and I choose who would do it. Keep in mind that one person can only perform 6 of these roadblocks over the course of the season. So far, this is how we stand:
Shoe Shining on the streets in Peru- Rebecca
Eating all of that nasty meat- Beth
Riding the horses- Rebecca
Shopping for orphans- Rebecca
Learning to throw the spear with the half naked African tribal guys- Beth

Nasty

2005-03-29T17:27:00.000-05:00

Rebecca told me about this last night but I didn't believe her

http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/03/24/chili.finger.reut/

gross

An Easter Like None Other

2005-03-28T10:47:00.000-05:00

For years, I have been looking forward to turning 28. I really don't know why. Even according to my penchant for odd numbers, 28 should be bad. (And 27 should have been great since it is 3 cubed.) But I have always just known that 28 would be good.

This weekend was not only an Easter celebration for our family. It was also the celebration of Rebecca's and my birthdays. (Rebecca's was a little over 2 weeks ago and mine is in 6 days.) I think that the joint birthday deal is a bit of a cop out on the part of my parents, but we don't mind. (Especially now that we are grown- I mean, really there is no reason that they would need to throw us a birthday party at all.) So last night, we all went over to my grandmother's house, had our favorite dinner, some cake and a mountain of presents.

But I think that the best part of the weekend was yesterday morning. Don't get me wrong- I LOVE my gifts (especially the iPod) but yesterday morning was a treat. While most of my friends were sitting in a packed church listening to a sermon and mothers across the country were trying to coax their little darlings into frilly dresses and miniature suits, I was learning how to drive to bushhog.

Bushhogging is the equivalent to mowing the yard, except you use a tractor and you can run over bigger things, mainly tree saplings. Daddy taught Rebecca how to drive the tractor a few years ago, but she only got to drive around the field a couple of times. This past week, he got a new safer tractor- one with a roll bar and automatic shutoff. So I now know how to drive a tractor! I am so proud. But I am a little suspicious that it is trick- like when we begged for a year and a half to learn how to drive the lawnmower only to learn and then be asked to mow the yard all summer.

Regardless, my birthday is not for another 6 days, but if this past weekend is any indication, 28 is going to be great.

Home Sweet Home

2005-03-25T21:05:00.000-05:00

I came home today. Home Home.

I love coming home. I have friends who relentlessly make fun of the fact that I love my small town upbringing and that I would seriously consider moving back if I weren't single. Of course, if they had my family, I think that they would love this place too.

Instead of driving down the interstate, I did one of my all time favorite things- I just drove back roads in the direction that I knew should be home and I let my instincts guide me. I knew my internal homing device would not fail me.

As I am getting out of my car, I hear Melissa, freshly home for spring break, yelling "Beth's home." Momma came to the door to greet me, but as I hugged her I looked over her shoulder and saw daddy with the shotgun.

Shotguns are reserved for Thanksgiving and Christmas holiday target practice. We were all required to learn how to shoot by aiming at beach balls across the yard or at mistletoe up in a tree. (I joke not.)

Apparently tonight, two neighborhood dogs followed momma home on her walk. My parents don't need another dog; the two they have are needy enough. But anyone else would have just waited until for the dogs to leave, which I am sure they would have. These two poor mutts had the bad misfortune of coming home on a day that daddy was feeling trigger happy. He was almost giddy as he raced from the back porch to the front door firing shots into the cool of sunset. I have never seen two dogs take off faster.

Rebecca is bring her boyfriend Bobby home on Sunday. I just hope that Momma remembers to hide the shotguns from daddy.

I gave in

2005-03-25T20:53:00.000-05:00

I have been thinking about blogging for a while now. And every time, I decide that I don't have the time and I really don't know that I want random strangers reading what I have to say. Of course, I do a daily check of 6 different blogs. Of those 6, I can only add a face to 3. It's not that I don't have a healthy self esteem, I am just not sure that what I have to say is all that important to anyone other than me.

But last night, Rebecca told me that I was not funny. Ouch. Our family places high value on funny. In short, she said that she didn't think I could handle a blog because no one would care to read it.

I am giving in. I am picking up the challenge and posting for the first time. Maybe Rebecca is right; maybe she is funnier. Melissa is definitely the angriest. But I think that I can handle a little sibling rivalry. Bring it on Becs.