I may have a problem

I think that I may be a workaholic. Really. My case is as follows:

Monday- 13 hours
Tuesday- 13 hours
Wednesday- 10.5 hours (but would have been longer had Sara not called and asked if I wanted to grab dinner before small group)
Thursday- 11.5 hours
Today- 12.5 and counting (of course, I am using these few moments to blog and so does that really count?)

Other supportive evidence-
I am getting up before 5AM to get to school between 6 and 6:30. I don't mind getting up early, but pre-5AM is not early. It's loony.

It's Friday. Of the first week. You could smell the rubber burning as everyone else peeled out of her at 4. And I am still here.

Swimming hasn't even started!


And here's the thing, I don't know why I have worked so much. Nevertheless, here are my attempts to rationalize:
- I do my absolute best not to take school home with me. I need time away to be a rest.
- Scott has his son this week and so evening dates are out.
- Wendy is out of town and Angela, my friend & other roommate, is also a high school teacher just going back to school.
- It's the first week. It's going to be busy.

I just feel like there is always so much more that needs to be done. As humbly as I can say this, I am a great teacher. You may ask how I know and I just know. But it isn't really me. Honestly, it is evidence of Christ's work through me. Otherwise, there is no way that I would be as patient or as creative. And I certainly wouldn't care as much as I do. And to rest when I know that it could be better kills me.

But I am EXHAUSTED. And it has only been one week. So I am going to work on margin. Putting a time limit on myself. Monday, Sara and I are going to start walking the track at 4:30. We will walk for 30 minutes and if I feel that I absolutely must come back to my room and work, then I will. But I will try my best to just leave it all behind for the day. I am going to start saying no to things. Today, I did manage to delete the email asking for Saturday School Workers and the one asking for a sponsor for the Interact Club. But, I did tell a fellow teacher that I would co-sponsor the Gaming Guild. (It's a sickness people.) I am going to become more protective of my time away from school. No more cramming that full either. Mark my words.

The first step to recovery starts with acknowledging there is a problem, right? Let's hope so.

Day 1 Down

Day One is over. I am sitting and checking email for the first time all day. I have a love hate relationship with the first day back. Let's start with the bad.

I have some NASTY blisters from wearing real shoes instead of flip flops. My feet and throat hurt. I had all of 10 minutes for lunch and one quick bathroom. The copier acted up 5 times while I was copying my syllabuses. I broke the pull cord on my screen when I tried to pull it down for my first class. I have 65 new students to learn the names of and tomorrow I will have an additional 30. I am just exhausted for being on all day and now I have to spend several hours planning for tomorrow. I worked bell to bell, even during third period which lasted an extra 30 minutes because the lunchrooms were over crowded.

On the good side. I love what I do. High school kids are so unique. Is there ever another time in our life when we are convinced that we know it all but are terrified that someone else will find out that we don't? I love being excited about math and about seeing them get it- even on the first day. This one kid, a freshman nonetheless, told me that my class was the best all day because we did work. Whoa! I love the way that my room is set up. (Thanks, Scott!) I feel like I accomplished something.

When it gets to be October and I have started complaining about needing a break, remind me that I do love this job.

By the way, I think that I did a good job of scaring my pre-calc kids. I sent them off with a smile and homework that is going to be hard!

First Day Jitters

They never go away. Each year without fail, the night before school starts is a sleepless one for me. I lay in bed and wonder what my students will be like. I wonder if I will have sweet kids or rotten ones. I run through lessons in my head and ponder whether I am teaching it in the order that I should be so that the greatest number of kids can learn the greatest amount of material. Will I have supportive parents or just nosy busy-bodies?

I wonder if by beefing up my pre-calc class if I have made it too hard. Will I lose them on day one and fight all semester to convince them that they can do hard math?

This year, I am teaching a new course- Math 1. Not just new to me, but new to the whole public high school curriculum in the state of Georgia. It is chop full of discovery activities and performance tasks. Designed to make the students better mathematical reasoners. Not as many standards as the old curriculum, but much deeper. Now I wonder if I will be able to find the balance between tasks and lectures.

I am just about finished with my lesson for tomorrow. (I teach, a lot, on the first day. And I give homework.) My lunch is packed. I have my first day outfit picked out. And now I am going to go lie in bed for too few hours staring at the ceiling and being nervous.

A New Blog

As if I needed a new blog to follow.

But if you know my biggest pet peeve, then you understand why I added this to my google reader feed.

And, have I mentioned how much I love google reader? If you are not using it, then you should be.
I actually think that someone sent me a news article about this blog a while back, but I obviously wasn't using google reader then and so I didn't remember to go check it.